From traffic to plastic bags, things we can do without in 2019.
Re-heated fish in the office kitchen, plastic bags, the gender pay gap, Brexit arguments, Auckland traffic, using the term "reach out".
Why do they still exist?
The Herald on Sunday has compiled a list of things we can we do without in 2019.
• Easter eggs in January, Halloween decorations in July, Christmas decorations in October.
• Waiters who say, "Are we ready?", "Are we having the oysters?". No, but we are.
• Oversharing on Instagram. Or too many hashtags.
• Gender-themed food at the supermarket. Why can't a woman eat the "man-sized" bangers and mash heat-up meal?
• Freeze-dried fruit, ruining perfectly good puddings at restaurants. If it isn't seasonal, don't serve it.
• Shared seats at restaurants. Like the new banquette built for four that the restaurant insists will seat six.
• Plastic bags and straws. Think of the turtles!
• Using the word "literally" wrong. People literally don't know how to use it.
• Undeclared influencing on Instagram. We all know you got that product for free.
• Hysteria over every Donald Trump tweet.
• People who play music or watch videos on public transport without using headphones. Or people whose conversations are too loud.
• People who don't indicate when they change lanes.
• Black face. It's 2019, not 1919.
• Auckland Motorway traffic. Or traffic anywhere.
• Climate change deniers.
• Anti-vaccination activists.
• Twitter. It's turned into a cesspit of hate.
• Talking throughout the movie. And loud popcorn eaters. It's a film, not a buffet.
• Eating on public transport. It smells and we don't want to hear you chew.
• People meandering in front of you on the footpath. Especially if they're on their phones. Move to the side, we have places to be!
• "Clean" eating. And carbohydrates being branded a dirty word.
• The Kiwi mentality of not accepting compliments.
"Your hair looks nice tied up." "Yeah, I haven't washed it".
"I like your top". "Really? It was only $20."
• Red light running.
• Motorbike and scooter riders pushing in traffic. Wait your turn.
• Junk mail. More unnecessary waste.
• Over-enthusiastic whooping and cheering, at meetings, concerts or any event. We're not America and this isn't an Oprah Winfrey show.
• Rain in summer.
• Humidity. It's unnecessary and horrible.
• Briscoes sales. Is a sale a sale if it happens every day?
• Chuggers who make you feel bad that you don't have any cash. We haven't carried any for 10 years.
• Street window washers. Again, we have no coins to give you.
• Cold callers.
• Rubbish trucks which don't empty the whole bin.
• Whale strandings.
• Uninsulated, damp Kiwi homes.
• Shops which run out of fans in summer.
• Ridiculous parking prices in the Auckland CBD.
• People cancelling plans at the last minute. We know you just want to go home and watch TV/trawl social media in your PJs.
• Bus drivers slamming on the brakes at every stop.
• Facebook chain letters, "99% of you won't share this". How right you are.
• Not being able to get a tradie. Or tradies not showing up on time, or at all.
• Idiots with fireworks. Leave animals and people who want to sleep alone.
• The gender pay gap.
• Piped music - in the toilets, in the kitchens.
• Colleagues who say "look who decided to show up" or "look what the cat dragged in" when you've come back after holiday. Or worse, if you're returning from a sick day.
• Colleagues who say "that was fast" when you leave for a meeting but come back to your desk seconds later obviously because you've forgotten something.
• Your idea being ignored in a meeting, only for someone else to say it louder and get all the credit.
• Using the phrase "reach out". Surely you just mean call? Or email?
• Taking something "offline".
• Vaping in the office doorway. Come on, you're grown people men in clouds of mango and coconut smoke.
• Colleagues who leave dirty tissues or food on your desk if you are hot-desking.
• Forced work fun.
• Inflexible working hours.
• Long meetings.
• Sexual harassment.
• Bad weather on the weekends and good weather when you're sitting at your desk.
• Re-heated fish in the office kitchen.
• Forgotten mouldy food in the office fridge.
• Unreliable air-conditioning.
• The "reply all" function on email.
• Disappearing office cutlery. Or always-dirty cutlery.
• IT issues.
• Paper cuts.
• Few women in positions of power.
• Abortion in the Crimes Act.
• Child poverty.
• Public health service waits.
• National Party leaks.
• New Australian Prime Ministers.
• One more person referring to "Burning Bridges". It sounds like you have Winston whispering in your ear.
• Bullies.
• KiwiBuild scandals.
• Brexit updates.
• The Prime Minister missing question time.
• Getting charged when your suitcase is only slightly overweight.
• Airport staff throwing your bags.
• Flights where food and drink aren't included in the ticket price.
• Over-sized carry-on taking up the baggage hold.
• Flight passengers who recline too far back in their chairs. Especially when you are watching a movie or trying to use the food tray.
• Children behind you who kick your chairs.
• Crying babies on long-haul flights.
• People who choose the window seat but need to get up to go to the toilet too often.
• The chicken running out before the trolley gets to you.
• The trolley just getting to you, then rolling on by because they need to re-stock.
• Pool chair hoggers. Just because you've put your towel down, doesn't make it yours!
• Obnoxious jet-skiers.
• Queue jumpers.
• Another fake celebrity death off the Kauri Cliffs... or anywhere in New Zealand (think Jeff Goldblum, Tom Hanks, Orlando Bloom).
• Kanye West rants.
• Rumours of a Friends reunion. It's not happening!
• Another nineties girl or boy band reunion. We've already got the Spice Girls, Atomic Kitten, Backstreet Boys, Westlife, Boyzone and Take That.
• Marvel superhero movies with more than 12 superheroes.
• Fortnite - the online game that is melting the minds of children across the globe.
• Magazines or celebrities themselves airbrushing/digitally-altering their images.
• Celebrities pushing weight loss products on social (think Iggy Azalea, Kim Kardashian and Cardi B).
• More reality shows.
• Concerts sold out within minutes.
• Viagogo.
• People being ripped off by Viagogo.
• People wearing big hats in front of you at concerts.
• Short celebrity/marriages engagements. Give us normal people something to aspire to! Ariana Grande, we're talking to you.
• Baby Shark...doo doo doo doo doo doo.
• Rain at Mt Smart every time an international act plays.
• Auto-tuning.
• Bursting into song every time someone says "let it go". Thanks Frozen.
• Another rapper whose name begins with "Lil".
• Atmospheric conditions on Sky.
• World Cup heartbreak. Go the All Blacks!
• Poaching high school rugby players.
• Drug cheats. Keep it clean.
• Theatrical football players.
• Misbehaving league players (and Mad Monday celebrations).
• Players/coaches taking "learnings" or "work-ons" "moving forward".
• Reviews into allegations of sporting organisations' failures. And reviews reviewing reviews.
• Speculation on whether Steven Adams will ever play for the Tall Blacks. He won't. Maybe.
• Black Caps batting collapses.
• Conor McGregor theatrics.
• The once-mighty Blues continuing to be perennial under-achievers.