The rift between Jonah Lomu's family and his widow Nadene has been laid to rest.

Today marks the third anniversary of the death of the legendary All Black, who died of a heart attack after a long battle with kidney failure.

But the global superstar's passing has been mired with family tensions between Nadene, Lomu's mother Hepi, and his siblings.

Lomu's brother, John and sister, Sela, have previously spoken of the ongoing anguish they've endured after his death - and the fact they had no contact with their nephews Brayley,10, and Dhyreille, 9.


The family was also devastated Lomu's grave didn't have a headstone until recently.

Talking to the Herald on Sunday, Lomu's brother said today's anniversary would be "low-key".

"We aren't getting together at the cemetery on Sunday for Jonah. Mum wants everything to settle down at the moment. We all need time to heal," John said.

But he was pleased that relations between the families had improved.

"After the unveiling of the headstone Nadene got in touch with me in regards to the boys. They have seen mum a few times lately, which makes her very happy. Sometimes mum takes them to the local church in Mangere" he said.

John said his nephews were growing boys with growing appetites.

"They inherited their appetites and their energy from their father," he said.

"Both boys are mad about sports, they love running around. Dyhreille is just like Jonah. He's just a rough and tumble kind of kid and will probably have a good chance of wearing his dad's jersey one day. But Brayley is quite reserved laid back" he said.

On the first anniversary of Lomu's death on November 18, 2016 tensions arose when family members were cautioned by cemetery management.

The unveiling of Jonah Lomu's headstone at Manukau Memorial Gardens in June. Photo / Doug Sherring
The unveiling of Jonah Lomu's headstone at Manukau Memorial Gardens in June. Photo / Doug Sherring

Lomu's widow Nadene, who has control of his grave site, requested cemetery staff to end a blessing by a pastor.

She and her sons were invited but didn't attend.

Lomu's headstone was finally unveiled in June, at short notice.

Nadene kissed John in what appeared to be a public reconciliation.

"I'll be honest with you. I didn't expect that - it was weird for me," he said.

"But what's important is we are in contact now. I don't want to drag up any more wounds. We're OK now."

Nadene couldn't be reached for comment.

Both families will re-unite again at Paerata Rise on December 1 for a ceremony on Jonah Lomu Rd to mark the completion of the first houses in a development on the road.

"It's really close to Wesley College where Jonah went," John said.

"There are lots of houses being built there, these homes will be open to the public on that day" said John.

Today, John will visit the grave of his big brother after he finishes his shift.

"For me I have forgiven and forgotten all the ill-feeling that happened," he said.

"It's important to do that for the boys and for my mum and most importantly for Jonah to rest in peace".

Three years on the words on Lomu's headstone ring true: "FAMILIES CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER".