NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / New Zealand

Raybon Kan: Welcome to the Game of Seats 2017

NZ Herald
26 Jul, 2017 05:00 PM4 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Boris Johnson's visit only served as a reminder of the appeal of Europe. Photo / AP

Boris Johnson's visit only served as a reminder of the appeal of Europe. Photo / AP

Opinion

By Raybon Kan

The hoardings are up.

The grinning has begun.

It looks like an alien invasion by a planet of real estate agents. But no. Welcome to the 2017 season of Game of Seats. Or perhaps that should be Ohariu: Ragnarok.

Already, National has told its supporters to vote tactically, for Act and United Future, those boutique, one-MP, sole trader parties. You can't even call them a mom-and-pop operation, because that would imply two MPs.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Are Act and United Future really political parties, or just a form of political cosplay? A party with one MP, an unwavering solitary quorum, looks like a pyramid scheme that never quite took off. Indeed, a failed soufflé that's decided to claim it was only ever trying to be a pancake.

Thankfully, our campaign season is brief.

Imagine if we had to go through the American ordeal. All that money, all that attention, scheming, emotion, money spent on caps, t-shirts, bumper stickers, instead of those resources going into something, anything else.

Still, it's worth reminding ourselves that democracy is a good thing. Who woulda thought that was even up for grabs, as an idea, in 2017? In that regard, we do owe Putin some thanks.

While we have our own election at hand, it's still hard not to fixate on the nuclear cluster-circus that is America.

Discover more

Opinion

Raybon Kan: Four cheers for the America's Cup!

28 Jun 05:00 PM
Entertainment

Kan: That's it then, let's live in the tunnel

05 Jul 05:00 PM
Opinion

Raybon Kan: Maybe all news is fake

12 Jul 05:00 PM
Opinion

Kan: Sticking it to The Man - aka who dares Winz

19 Jul 05:00 PM

Suddenly, a big part of my brain is occupied with America's healthcare system, even though I have no plans to become sick there.

I think I know more about American healthcare now than I do about Kiwisaver. Or for that matter, the rules at a roundabout.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

John McCain's brain tumour - which possibly explains his choice of Sarah Palin in 2008 - didn't stop him showing up to vote the way Trump wanted him to.

The intrigue continues.

Will yet another decision be made against the interests of the general population?

You can tell Trump isn't invested in whatever bill they're trying to push through, by the mere fact he doesn't refer to it as Trumpcare. Or Doctor Donald.

Donald Trump's Wellness Wall! Grab 'em by the pleurisy. Germs will be stopped at the border! Sickness will be banned until he figures out what's going on! (The crowd cheers, smug in the knowledge that only their political opponents have ever become sick.)

I alone can heal! Extreme vetting! (That's when an American can't afford a doctor, so they go see a vet instead.)

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

I don't know why I'm getting so het up. It doesn't affect me. But the fact his scam of a presidency is still in progress, six months later, is still galling.

Speaking of people voting against their interests, Honest Boris Johnson (patron saint of the NHS, to the tune of £350 million per week, if you believe the side of a bus) showed up here.

You think he'd have something more important to do - like Photoshop himself out of every picture with a bus - but it's like he heard there was an election in New Zealand, and couldn't resist showing up to make some promises.

Britain is single and ready to mingle, he kind of said. He wanted some free trade, and said we were at the front of the queue - because is there anything more British than a queue? - and invited us to swipe right.

As we head into an election, and the UK is in limbo, I couldn't see the point of his visit, unless he had some carbon credits to use up, or needed a big trip to maintain some platinum status.

Until Brexit is negotiated, Britain simply doesn't know what Britain is free to trade. That's two years away. Or was he here to recruit some trade negotiators to staff his side of the Brexit divorce?

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

He sucked up and name-checked butter and wine. He said the OE was safe. Of course the OE would be safe. It's the key to getting the good end of a brain drain.

But what's in it for us? When I was in the UK, the most appealing part of Britain was the south of Spain. And the south of France. Oh, and Tuscany.

It's not even that Europe was the bonus. Europe was all the best parts of the chicken, and Britain was a few soggy chips.
For many Kiwis, the OE is really a way to discover how nice New Zealand is. And Brexit will only make that clearer.

Save

    Share this article

Latest from New Zealand

live
New Zealand

Bus passengers rescued from floodwater in Taranaki, heavy rain sweeps country

03 Jul 08:18 AM
New Zealand

Fatal crash charge: 20-year-old to face court over Southland tragedy

03 Jul 08:09 AM
New Zealand

'Needs to be killed': Gang president allegedly ordered fatal attack on fellow member

03 Jul 08:00 AM

There’s more to Hawai‘i than beaches and buffets – here’s how to see it differently

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from New Zealand

Bus passengers rescued from floodwater in Taranaki, heavy rain sweeps country
live

Bus passengers rescued from floodwater in Taranaki, heavy rain sweeps country

03 Jul 08:18 AM

Rain started falling at the top of the country before dawn.

Fatal crash charge: 20-year-old to face court over Southland tragedy

Fatal crash charge: 20-year-old to face court over Southland tragedy

03 Jul 08:09 AM
'Needs to be killed': Gang president allegedly ordered fatal attack on fellow member

'Needs to be killed': Gang president allegedly ordered fatal attack on fellow member

03 Jul 08:00 AM
How student loan penalties are keeping Kiwis from returning home

How student loan penalties are keeping Kiwis from returning home

03 Jul 07:49 AM
From early mornings to easy living
sponsored

From early mornings to easy living

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP