Horseracing identity Greg Meads - charged with the murder of his wife - was allegedly pushed over the edge because of his belief that he would no longer see their daughter, says Meads' father.

"I think this all happened because Helen wanted to take [daughter] Sam away with her," Greg Meads' father, Howard, said last night.

"He just loved that little girl. I think that was the turning point ... I think that pushed him over the edge."

Howard Meads said his son had confided to him that the couple were having problems, and had agreed to separate.

He said his son had "got a house ready for her ... he was paying the bond on it that day". There were rumours that there were third parties involved. "She has been going out all night and coming home in the morning."

On Wednesday morning, police were called to the Meads' Waikato home and found the body of Helen. Greg Meads was later arrested and charged with her murder.

He had phoned his brother Phillip from the house.

"He just said, 'Helen is dead' ... and he kept crying," said Phillip Meads last night. "I was in shock. My mind went blank because I was trying to think what to do next."

Phillip Meads rushed to the scene, where police had already been called.

Howard Meads said there was more to the story, "don't you worry".

"He is very, very upset. The whole thing is so sad. Look, Greg is a lovely guy through and through. He never did anything to anybody - he's always helping people."

According to the Weekend Herald, Helen Meads had called a girlfriend on Wednesday, excited about moving on with her life.

She and Greg Meads had been married 10 years and had one daughter, Sam, 8. Helen Meads had two older children from a previous marriage.

A friend of Helen Meads, trainer Phil Stevens, met her about 10 years ago. "She's one of those people, if you met her today, tomorrow, you'd feel like you'd known her for 10 years. Life was a good time for Helen," he told the Weekend Herald.

Another friend said she "didn't have an enemy in the world".

The Meads were a well-known racing couple and trained horses together. Among racehorses they owned were Kristov, Ginga Dude and Wolf Pack.

Howard Meads said he had yet to see his son.

"Greg looked very gaunt and worried [in court]," said Howard Meads. "it's very upsetting because we can't go and talk to him or anything. He is my son and it is very hard."

Meads will reappear in the Hamilton District Court next month.