Kiwis fight back after Aussie bloggers bag Auckland

The bloggers branded Auckland 'soulless' and slagged off the local brew. Image / Screen grab of fushnchups.co,nz

A war of the jokes has been sparked after two Aussie bloggers living in Auckland wrote a stinging assessment of life in New Zealand.

The Tasmanian couple upset some Kiwis with their online expat guide www.fushnchups.co.nz, warning that Auckland is a "horrible soulless city" and its inhabitants are "hobbits" who cannot dress properly.

Tasmanian newspaper themercury.com.au then got in on the act asking its readers for their best Kiwi jokes.

It seemed only fair to ask Kiwis to fight back and you jumped at the chance.

The best of the selection received by nzherald.co.nz:

Q: What is the difference between Australia and a block of cheese?
A: If you left a block of cheese out in the sun for 150 years it would develop a culture.
- Tony Davidson

When arriving in Australia and being asked by Airport Custom Officers if I have any criminal convictions, I replied that I didn't realise you still needed one to get in!
- Andrew

Q: Why do they have glass rubbish bins in Tasmania?
A:So they can go window shopping
- Irene Field

Q: How many Australians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:One. He merely holds the lightbulb up and the universe revolves around him.
- Paul Greville

Q: What's the one thing wrong with Australia?
A:It's above sea level.
- Jeremy

Needless to say some of the other offerings weren't printable, and references to sheep from both sides cancelled each other out.

Readers can make up their own minds whether the NZ contributions are better than the Tasmanian efforts run by The Mercury:

Q: What would you call a hundred Kiwis' on Prozac?
A: Once were worriers!
- Toredo of Hobart

Q: How do you know when a Kiwi has been in a shoe shop?
A: Love bites on the Ugg boots.
- Farmer Jo of north-west Tasmania

- NZ HERALD STAFF