Sideswipe

The Wallabies' rugby practice was delayed nearly two hours yesterday after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the field. Head coach Eddie Jones immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called. After a complete analysis, forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the tryline. Practice was resumed after special agents decided the Wallabies were unlikely to encounter this substance again.

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Phil Kerrison wants to know if there is any chance of a "direct" translation of the Maori version of the National Anthem, published in Monday's Sideswipe. "It shares a common thread with the English version, but for those of us who aren't bi- or multilingual, it would be interesting to know what is being sung," he says.

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A reader from Taupo writes. "Your correspondent Jeremy Woodhall is right, and he is wrong. The rugby cup should be pronounced 'Bledslow' but according to the ever-handy Debrett's Correct Form, 'Charteris' is pronounced as spelled, 'Charters' being archaic. With 'Inglis', Debrett's gives an option: as spelled, or, as presumably Mr Woodhall prefers, 'Ingles'. One should hope that when Mr Woodhall is in Auckland and motoring down Queen St, he turns left at the Civic into Wellsli St."

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Maybe the All Blacks would like a little mat to do their stretches on like Real Madrid - now they're worth $80 grand apiece.

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In the London Review of Books lurks a piece of gossip concerning a very discreet bar in London which, for a small fee, offers patrons the use of several "phoning booths". These are shut off from the bar-room revelry and clinking, featuring instead a background noise choice of traffic/office/trains etc. The punters can phone wife/boss/babysitter, whatever, and claim to be held up for much more legitimate reasons than a quick drink or two. The bar is not named - only those who know can pass on the information.

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Reader Gary Healy writes: "What the hell is a Somalian? TV news has been reporting on Winston Peters and a Somalian taxi driver. A Somali is no more a Somalian than an Iraqi is an Iraqian or a New Zealander a New Zealandian. At least the Herald gets it right."

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