Rudman's city: Long hop to a longdrop

By BRIAN RUDMAN

When the $2.2 billion Getty Museum was completed in Los Angeles a year or so back, it was not until the public started complaining that the experts realised they had forgotten to include public toilets in most of the building.

Not that we can afford to be too smug about this bizarre oversight. Auckland didn't do much better when it came to last year's $125 million tart-up of the Viaduct Basin.

Certainly there was provision for public super-loos in the waterfront redevelopment plans, and yes, appropriate piping was installed during the makeover. But of the above-ground business end, there was no sight. For reasons which I still can't understand, the powers that be paid for the toilets, had them built and then decided not to install them until after the America's Cup.

Fear of over-use, perhaps. Whatever, it took a flurry of public complaining and unsightly peeing off the back of yachts before the pristine dunnies were moved out of storage and into use.

Then, of course, there's Aotea Square. Wait until you reach that popular meeting place to seek out a toilet and you are in trouble. There isn't one. There hasn't been one since the old underground one got bowled two years ago during the construction of the Force Entertainment Centre.

What have the "caught short" done since? Well, not unnaturally, they seek relief in the neighbouring Aotea Centre or Town Hall or Force Entertainment Centre.

Not that any of these public venues greet those in need with any warmth. Certainly there are no directional signs from the square, and, as a city council report admits, "it would be fair to say that general use of those toilets is not encouraged."

Now, after many complaints and much report writing by planners and managers, Aotea Centre is to get an $80,000 plus GST, two-seater, unisex, 24-hour dunny all of its own.

But it hasn't been easy. While the bosses of the Civic and Town Hall do not approve of skaters and tourists ducking into their temples to spend a penny, nor do they much like the thought of a public convenience rising up outside their doors either.

One proposal was to build the new toilet as a "seamless addition" to the lift shaft rising up from the carpark outside the Town Hall. However, the council's heritage and planning officials vetoed it, saying it was not appropriate in such a "high profile" site. They also said it would encroach on a Maori heritage site and require the approval of the local iwi.

Another option was to place it near the Ticketek office between the Aotea Centre and the southern end of Bledisloe Building. Aotea Centre objected to this site as being too close. The compromise siting is adjacent to the carpark stairwell near Bledisloe Building.

Sadly, it's not going to be the sort of landmark loo that Frederick Hundertwasser designed for central Kawakawa - at a mere $130,000, surely one of the savviest investments of public funds ever. Our little house is what is called "a temporary relocatable," similar to the ones that finally turned up at the Viaduct Basin. Relocatable, because in time, the whole of Aotea Square is to be rebuilt and in the redesign, permanent plumbing will be provided - if anyone remembers.

To be fair, listening to Paul Wilson, the manager in charge of open spaces and loos, it sounds as if the new Aotea relocatable is part of a renaissance of city conveniences.

The antique tram-stop loo on the city side of Grafton Bridge has already had a makeover. Next for the unisex revolution are the grotty High St men's toilets in the Victoria St carpark. Electronic counters reveal that, with 300-400 users a day, they are, with the ones in the Big Pinky at the corner of Wyndham and Queen Sts, the city's most popular relieving spot.

As far as the Big Pinky loos go, they are to get an interior upgrade and, like High St, become a 24-hour facility.

And best of all, they'll remain free.