Muslims argue differently. They say their desire to build mosques or dress according to their faith or ethnicity proves they feel at home in their host countries.
Muslims want the welcome and tolerance shown to the artistic expressions of their culture (think poetry, music, carpet, architecture, couscous, kebab) to be extended to their skin colour, faith, and choice of clothing.
The treatment of Muslim refugees by the West may have crucial implications for the fight against terrorism. As Europe is closing its borders to desperate Muslim men, Isis is welcoming them with open arms, promising dignity and recognition instead of despair and isolation.
A crucial step towards combating terrorism is for Western leaders to actively engage with their Muslim citizens and put them at the forefront of the fight against extremism; after all, the overwhelming majority of Isis' victims are Muslims.
This means adopting a language of unity, respect and mutual trust; acknowledging Muslims as fellow citizens.
It means we have to avoid the dehumanisation of Muslims and stop referring to them as the "other".
Hamid Dabashi, a Professor of Iranian Studies and Comparative Literature at Columbia University in New York, writes: "Of course, the attack on the French is an attack on humanity, but is an attack on a Lebanese, an Afghan, a Yazidi, a Kurd, an Iraqi, a Somali, or a Palestinian any less an attack 'on all of humanity and the universal values that we share'? What is it exactly that a North American and French share that the rest of humanity are denied sharing?"
Dabashi says, "I declare my sympathy and solidarity with the French; and I do so, decidedly, pointedly, defiantly, as a Muslim."
When Arabs or Muslims die at the hands of the selfsame criminal gangs in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, or Lebanon, they are presumed sectarian denominations, overcoming and camouflaging their humanity.
But when French or British or US citizens are murdered, they become the universal icons of humanity.
Why? Are we Muslims not human? Does the murder of one of us not constitute harm to the entire body of humanity?
I love #PrayForParis, a hashtag that emerged shortly after the Paris attacks. It claims back "faith" from its hijackers who are determined to make it violent and hateful; it allows us all, regardless of ethnicity and beliefs, to unite in hope and peace.
The world has much to learn from the aftermath of 9/11. The "war on terror" has made our world more violent and less secure. We must avoid falling into Isis' "disunity" trap by refraining from using divisive language that isolates Muslims.
European Muslims grieve with France; they must be treated as allies, not enemies. Unity and respect is the only path to peace.
Donna Miles-Mojab is a British-born, Iranian-bred New Zealander.
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