Dementia in Northland: A story of love, heartbreak and resilience

Love is the key ingredient for Northlanders Peggy and Mike Rangi, as they live with Mike's dementia. Photo / Michael Cunningham Photography

Dementia is on the rise in New Zealand, but it is a condition many are afraid to talk about. In the first of a Northern Advocate series, Denise Piper shines a light on how Alzheimer’s disease and other dementia types impact Northlanders, the early warning signs and what help is available.

At her most raw and honest, Peggy Rangi admits marriage was not a very good contract for her to sign.

While she and husband Mike have had 50 happy years together, including raising three daughters and building their house on the edge of the Kaipara Harbour in Kaiwaka, the end stage is “heartbreaking”, she says.

Mike (Tūwharetoa) has dementia, with his cognitive impairment first diagnosed about 15 years ago.

Most days, he forgets basic tasks such as washing the dishes but, on bad days, he can be dangerous, such as accidentally opening the car door while being driven down the motorway because he confused the door handle with the window knob.

Mike is one of a growing number of New Zealanders with dementia, also known as mate wareware, an umbrella term for a range of progressive conditions impacting a person’s ability to think, reason and remember.

According to the Dementia Mate Wareware Action Plan 2026-31, written by New Zealand NGOs, there are an estimated 83,000 Kiwis with dementia. This is expected to more than double to 170,000 by 2050.

Health inequities further complicate the picture, with dementia projected to increase at a faster rate in Māori, Pasifika and Asian communities.

Māori face higher risks of developing dementia and poorer access to care, while rural communities also have less access to care, the plan says.

While the number of Northlanders with mate wareware is not recorded by Health NZ, Dementia Tai Tokerau has seen a huge increase in demand, with a 40% growth in client numbers over five years.

Mike Rangi (Tuwharetoa) has dementia, which increasingly impacts Maori patients. Photo / Michael Cunningham Photography

The organisation, previously called Alzheimers Northland, is feeling the impact of a growing and ageing population, with more retirees moving north, says chief executive Trudi Bridges.

She also believes more people are seeking help so they can stay at home for longer.

‘I knew something was happening’

Peggy says she picked up early that Mike was not his usual self when he began spending indiscriminately, such as buying a new spade because he couldn’t remember where he left his other one.

A red flag was raised on a holiday with friends when the couple lost the keys to their accommodation. Mike was adamant that Peggy was the last one to have them. When they found that Mike had them all along, there was no apology or recollection of the disagreement, she says.

“I was very, very lucky I picked it up. I knew something was happening. A lot of people, I think, don’t pick it up until later on.”

Mike’s early diagnosis has meant more time to understand what dementia is and how it progresses, and more time to plan for the future, she says.

It was also a chance for Peggy to learn more about her personality and spirituality, as she is learning shamanic studies online.

Peggy Rangi (Ngāti Whātua) says living with Mike's dementia has been a learning curve for her after 50 years of marriage. Photo / Michael Cunningham Photography

“Luckily for me, I was able to know myself, because when I knew myself, I was able to help him.

“For example, I can modulate my voice so that it isn’t intimidating or threatening, and it keeps him stable and feeling comfortable in himself.”

But she understands people avoid a dementia diagnosis, because “it is scary”.

“For me, there were benefits in early diagnosis, with patterns and routine. I was able to get into a routine so that he could work on a subconscious level.”

Staying at home on their rural Kaiwaka property is Mike’s comfort zone.

If they need to go out, such as going to the doctor, Peggy spends a day planning, working out everything from what Mike will wear to making sure his fingernails are cut.

“I get him to the point where he hops in the car and he’s not stressed, because I’m taking him out of routine. If he’s stressed, we’re arguing in the car and it’s a dangerous drive.”

‘I’ve always believed in trying to stay positive’

Mike Rangi says staying positive is key for him and wife Peggy. Photo / Denise Piper

Mike says he usually forgets about his dementia diagnosis.

“I think I probably only took it in for a moment and then forgot about it. I’ve always believed in trying to stay positive.”

He can easily recall stories from the past, such as his career with an international import/export company, working his way up in chemistry sales, despite having no formal qualifications.

As a competitive squash player, who trained both adults and children, staying positive is something he has always focused on.

The impact on 24-hour caregivers

While there is no cure for dementia and it is eventually fatal, the impact on caregivers like Peggy is arguably greater, with data showing carers frequently die before the person they are looking after.

Peggy, 75, admits she is often stressed as she is a “24/7 caregiver, cleaner, CEO, CFO, COO, chef, purchasing officer and mechanic”.

She describes the situation as heartbreaking, with Mike constantly breaking his word, and it can also be dangerous.

She, too, tries to stay positive: “I have to remember everything passes, and this too shall pass.”

But it’s not always easy. “Marriage is a trap, I would never recommend it to anybody,” she says wistfully. “When you say, ‘I do, for better or worse, in sickness and in health,’ that’s the worst contract you can make.”

Peggy and Mike Rangi live in rural Kaiwaka, where services are scant and support involves a long drive. Photo / Michael Cunningham Photography

Dementia Tai Tokerau has been a huge support, especially with its monthly support group in Mangawhai for carers.

“It’s amazing. The people there are all at different stages of their loved ones living with dementia ... It gives you insight and allows you to strategise on how to handle the future.”

With all their children living in Australia, the strategy now is to move from rural Kaiwaka, where services are limited, to Taupō so they can be closer to relatives and facilities such as a library.

What are the warning signs?

While memory lapses can get worse when people age, dementia is far more than forgetfulness, impacting a person’s ability to think and reason.

Alzheimers New Zealand advises that, if you are worried you, or someone you know, is showing signs of dementia mate wareware, see your GP or primary health care provider for a full assessment.

Denise Piper is a news reporter for the Northern Advocate, focusing on health and business. She has more than 20 years in journalism and is passionate about covering stories that make a difference.