The funeral for a young musician killed in a crash on Sunday morning is likely to be delayed for weeks so his mother can attend after quarantining at New Zealand's border.
Penny Violetto got the news on Sunday that her son and "rock" Jordan Michael Gow had died in the 6.45am crash on Russley Rd in Christchurch.
Now she's desperate to get to New Zealand from the USA to farewell Jordan and support his devastated twin brother, Josh.
But Violetto faces a two-week quarantine, as new arrivals are no longer able to apply for exemptions to attend funerals or tangihanga in Covid-19 alert level 1.
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Jordan was driving to work when he collided with a vehicle heading the wrong way down the motorway with no headlights on.
The other driver, 20-year-old Tane John Anderson from Flaxton, also died. Police confirmed on Monday that one of the vehicles was travelling south in a northbound lane of Russley Rd. Enquiries into the circumstances of the crash are ongoing.
The last few days have been a rollercoaster for Violetto as she's reminded over and over again of her son's death. She's in Pensacola, Florida with her husband - but all she wants is to be with her surviving son in New Zealand.
Seeing Josh burst into tears on 1News on Monday night broke her heart, Violetto told the Herald. Josh is the quiet one, who holds his emotions in, unlike Jordan who has been described as the life of the party.
"[Josh] needs support. Before a funeral that is one of the toughest times," she said. "They're my boys, they're my children and I would just like to be there."
Jordan was the "rock" that both she and Josh could lean on. "He looked after me when I went through rough patches. He made sure I was okay, he made sure Josh was okay. He could sense if something wasn't okay - it's a twin thing."
On Monday an application for a compassionate exemption from quarantine rules for Violetto to attend Jordan's funeral was turned down.
Under new border rules, all arrivals must quarantine or self-isolate for 14 days. They can no longer apply for exemptions to attend funerals - reflecting the increased risk of the virus spreading in alert level 1.
That's been highlighted by today's news that 24 days with zero new Covid-19 cases, two people have tested positive. The Ministry of Health says both cases are connected and relate to travel from the UK.
It is thought the two new cases were given special exemption to attend a funeral in New Zealand, according to 1News.
Violetto can apply for a compassionate exemption to grieve with loved ones, after seven days in quarantine and a negative Covid-19 test. She plans to self-isolate with Josh as soon as she's able.
The funeral date is being planned around her and will be delayed if needed, Violetto said.
"If they can hold off for a couple of weeks - this is going to be a good time for everybody to regather their thoughts, get something together and think of a really good send off."
Both Violetto and her new husband Don, an American, are getting on the plane on Wednesday night US time, arriving in Auckland on Saturday. She's hoping Don will be allowed into New Zealand.
As she packs, she keeps thinking she's going home to see both boys - then it all comes flooding back.
"Then my heart sinks and I have to sit down. It's gonna be a tough one."
At her wedding, held in New Zealand on August 26 last year, Jordan and Josh walked their mum down the aisle. An off-kilter photo from the ceremony, showing her looking up at Jordan with love, "perfectly" captures their relationship, Violetto says.
It was the last time Violetto saw Jordan in the flesh. But they spoke often on the phone. Their last chat was on June 11 (US time), lasting 35 minutes. Jordan was cooking glazed onions for his lunch; his mum was cooking dinner. Their conversation is still fresh in her mind.
She and Jordan's father Murray Gow both feel their son's presence, Violetto says. "I can sense him around me, keeping me strong."
NZ Police have not been in contact with Violetto - they've been communicating with his father in Christchurch - but she's been told Anderson drove the wrong way down State Highway 1 after exiting BP on Russley Rd.
"Jordan would have been looking straight ahead.. .at 6.45am it would have been dark. He wouldn't have seen somebody coming the wrong way."
She believes the crash was instantly fatal.
She has not heard from the Anderson family but Haki Anderson, Tane's father, told Stuff on Monday that "our heart goes out to the other family. We extend them our deepest sympathies and love".
His family was "completely devastated", Anderson said.
A Givealittle page set up to help Gow's family with expenses and funeral costs has raised more than $7500.
The new border rules
Under Covid-19 alert level 1, recent arrivals in quarantine or self-isolation cannot apply for exemptions to attend funerals or tangi.
That change applied from June 9, when Dr Ashley Bloomfield said if people were exposed overseas they now posed an even greater threat to New Zealanders.
People would still be able to apply for compassionate leave to visit a dying relative but could not attend a funeral service.
Bloomfield said at the time people should contemplate the change of rules before deciding to come back to New Zealand if it applied to their reason for returning.
He said the change in rules had been part of the Government's preparations for alert level 1 and was an important measure for tightening border restrictions.
The Ministry of Health's website says people entering New Zealand must stay in managed isolation or quarantine for at least 14 days and test negative for Covid-19 before leaving.
"People in managed isolation may apply for compassionate leave to be with a smaller group of loved ones to grieve at home once they have completed seven days of managed isolation and had a negative Covid-19 test.
"However, they may not attend the funeral or tangihanga itself. Applications in this category need to be supported by medical documentation."