Covid 19 coronavirus: Mum's heartbreak after daughter dies during lockdown; banned from holding tangi

An Auckland mum says she won't be able to properly grieve for her daughter, who died during lockdown, until her whanau can hold a proper tangi.

Leilani Jane Tui Ann Apiata-Selwyn, 24, was diagnosed with rheumatic heart disease aged 9.

Her heartbroken mother, Edwina Apiata, said her daughter died of it on Friday.

Although Leilani had been sick for many years, her death was still a shock.

She died in her partner's arms in their Ranui home early on Friday morning but her partner performed CPR until St John Ambulance staff arrived to settle her heart into a normal rhythm. However, she died in North Shore Hospital's intensive care unit hours later.

However, the nationwide lockdown because of Covid-19 has only aggravated their grief as they have been unable to give her a proper farewell.

"She has been sick for a very long time," said Apiata. "She had been on medication from her young life through to adulthood. Over that time she's just been getting fed heart medication to keep her heart going.

"She was very bubbly, cheeky, a really loved girl by everybody. It's just been in the past few days all of a sudden everything just went downhill."

NeedToKnow3

• Covid19.govt.nz: The Government's official Covid-19 advisory website

Leilani Jane Tui Ann Apiata-Selwyn died aged 24 on Friday. Her heartbroken whanau were unable to hold a tangi due to Covid 19 lockdown restrictions. Photo / Supplied

New rules for funerals under the Covid restrictions meant 10 family members could attend a service, which was held at Tipene Funeral Home in Mangere.

"We had to end up doing a livestream service for our daughter because we were only allowed 10 family members in the funeral home.

"It was so wrong on many levels."

It was wrong because they couldn't hold a proper tangi; have their loved one at home and have family say their goodbyes.

For the Selwyn-Apiata whanau, more than 300 people would have flocked to their West Auckland home.

"It was very, very hard for us with just in our little bubble.

"If this lockdown hadn't happened we would have had a big family tangi at her own home.

"We've got a really very big family, so it would have been at least 300. That's family from up north and around here in Auckland."

She said it was hard for whanau to watch the livestream; some were angry and toyed with breaking the ban.

"I was just constantly trying to keep all the families away but it was so hard."

Not being able to say goodbye made her daughter's death feel surreal.

"It's like she's not gone because we never got to have her in that period of time.

"It's all still sinking in at the moment and all we had was a little service and to cremate her.

"We couldn't even carry her to the car. We couldn't even follow the hearse."

When the lockdown is finally lifted, they would hold a proper farewell for her, before taking her to Waiomio Marae, Bay of Islands, to be beside her twin brother who died when he was 7 months old.

She was unimpressed at Health Minister David Clark's actions in twice breaching the lockdown by driving his family 20km to the beach and then driving to a nearby mountain bike park.

"He's saying 'stay home, stay home' yet he's going to the beach. That's not right. Why should we get restricted when he can do that and he's the Minister of Health? That is wrong and unfair to all New Zealanders."

She wouldn't wish it on anyone what her family are going through.

"It's just very heartbreaking because you can't do anything.

"We can't do what we want to do, how we are supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done. Being Maori it's just really sad."

Apiata said she last saw her daughter on Thursday, taking her to a doctor's appointment and out for lunch.

"I'm going to miss ringing her everyday, checking on her. I"m going to miss everything."