When our household learned that society could collapse around the time we are singing Auld Lang Syne, we half-heartedly made plans for the millennium meltdown.
It will be scary, we figured. Marauding yachties roaming the streets with television sets looking for a functioning power point to watch the LouisVuitton Cup, officials from the Health Ministry in vans bellowing at us through megaphones about washing our hands ...
We tried to take the warnings seriously until we started hooting about storing water. Deja-vu all over again, said a friend still miffed that he sold his water-tank business just before the last crisis.
We've recently had builders in doing minor repairs so we know what's needed. A couple of buckets for tea and teeth, maybe a couple more to wash ashtrays, shot glasses and hands and that's taken care of.
And going without electricity - again - won't be too difficult for many Aucklanders.
Given the weather - we are optimistically expecting long summer days - we'll spend most of them at the beach and by nightfall the kids will be ready to crash.
We can live without television. Reruns of Cheers, the dreary Greenstone and Suzanne Paul have cured us of that addiction.
So what preparations will we make?
Because fear of starvation in three days is a reality for our teenagers, we immediately made up a shortlist that included alcohol (one of the five basic food groups along with chicken burgers) and other essential crisis supplies.
We'll already have the barbecue out, so we'll fill a chilly bin with ice, beer and bloody meat, dig a hole at the far end of the garden for various kinds of waste (with corrugated iron around it for privacy) and bring in medical supplies such as disinfectant (whisky), some anaesthetics in case we have to do emergency amputations (brandy), and probably a tonic or two (to go with the gin).
And that's about it, I'm afraid.
Actually, none of that's true. We're going to stockpile generators and barbecues and get into profiteering when things really cut up rough in the suburbs.
Failing that, we figured we could always scrounge off the neighbours. Now if I were them, I'd be really panicking.
