I've never been a fan of vegetables masquerading as meat. Vegetarian sausages are invariably the most insipid thing on a barbecue grill. But I'm keen to try the Impossible Burger — the most controversial thing to be placed between two buns since John Hopoate quit playing league.

The country briefly went a little crazy last week, with — hilariously — accusations of a lack of patriotism around red meat. Some people say Air New Zealand knows when there'll be controversy around one of their marketing moves and that they predict (correctly, most of the time) they'll come out on the right side of public opinion. Not in this case. In Burger Gate, no one could have predicted the depth of idiocy to which our national discourse could descend.