TV: Whaddya mean, this is meant to be serious?

Just when you thought you were going to have to rely solely on Frasier and Spin City for all your quality home comedy needs, we've discovered a hidden gem in Pacific Blue (Sky1, Saturdays, 6.30 pm). Also known as Baywatch on Bikes this is a prime example of television so bad it's hilarious.

The premise is that in a crime-ridden coastal city, a bunch of ace cops whiz round chasing down the bad guys. Sounds familiar, but the gimmick here is these chisel-chinned chaps and chap-esses do it on bikes. No, not motorbikes, pedal bikes.

Hence, in last week's episode, three really, really bad guys rub out three other not-so-bad guys in a wrecked car lot. An alert Pacific Blue good guy witnesses the massacre and instantly calls in the rest of the troop to catch the bad guys before they can make their escape.

Inconveniently, the team seem to be somewhere over the other side of the city, but does that mean we're going to call in a patrol car? No way.

Pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal. Cut to bad guys driving mysteriously slowly towards the yard gate.

Pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal.

Henchman gets out and, mysteriously slowly, starts to slide big gate open.

Pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal.

Gate inching open ...

Pedal, pedal ... suddenly the bike bunch are on them. Bad guys look on in horror as bikes bear down. At this point bad-guy driver could just put his foot down and mow them all down, but instead all baddies jump out of the car and start running, headless chicken-like, round the yard.

This gives the plucky bike patrol time to cycle willynilly over car roofs - a manoeuvere which so astounds the baddies they spontaneously fall over and drop their guns.

Excellent cop work.

Cut to final scene of couple in romantic restaurant.

Beautiful girl: "I'm glad I got my life back...[mixed emotions flicker across her face] ... I'm just sorry a man had to die for it."

Bike cop (for, as they say, it is he): "It's okay. He wasn't just a man ... he was an EVIL man."

No kidding. All it needed was for him to put his little finger to his mouth, and we'd have been in an Austin Powers movie.

Anyway, from the rock bottom of television entertainment to the Topp Twins. Quite why they wanted to drag up the ancient British TV chestnut Mr and Mrs and revamp it the Kiwi way is beyond us, though they've certainly succeeded in putting their own camp stamp on it (and Camp Mother gets more like Dame Edna Everage with each episode).

In Britain in the 70s the programme was strictly midweek, mid-afternoon television, with nary a contestant under the age of 80 and certainly no double entendres allowed. The most risque question we recall is: "Where does your wife keep her dusters?"

No such tame queries for the only yodelling, lesbian, twin game-show hosts in the world. We have one question though: when are the only yodelling, lesbian, twin game-show hosts in the world going to have a gay couple as contestants?

But, back to the good stuff. What a treat to have double episodes of Frasier to watch (he takes a week's break next week before returning to TV2 on Mondays at 9.30 pm), and don't forget early shows on Sundays on Sky1.

The whole cast shines, though neurotic brother Niles is one clear standout and those clever scripts the other. Example - Frasier, on Niles' tough-guy past: "Yes, I remember the way you used to carry your inhaler around rolled up in the sleeve of your T-shirt."

Another big plus this series is the absence of Marsha Mason as John Mahoney's sassy girlfriend. She was funny for a while, but it was definitely time to say "goodbye girl" several episodes before she finally disappeared.