TV: Toffs on the town

By Frances Grant

Interpreting Plumgolian, the nasal language spoken by the filthy-rich young English things of doco series A Bit of Posh (TV3, 8.35 pm), isn't difficult.

"We're clearly rich, wealthy upper-class snobs - everybody here is," exclaimed one public schoolboy, clearly delighted with his lot in life. "You should face who you are and go with it."

We knew what he was saying: I yam who I yam.

It was sound advice on offer in last week's first episode of the four-part series. Why feel bad about having heaps of lovely money, yah? No good blaming parents or ancestors for making it.

People get so jealous, explained the son of a property tycoon, Baron Bloom, on holiday in tax haven Monaco, a place free from the unkind scorn and spittle of the great unwashed of London.

Such an unjust, mean-minded attitude the poor have towards the rich, "... instead of admiring what someone has been able to do, achieving something good in their life: everyone can make money, it's not hard," he said.

The young Bloom didn't appear to be endeavouring to make any of his own, however, preferring to spend his time spraying pretty girls with champagne and offering to buy them outfits from Versace.

"I am a playboy. It's the most fabulous life-style, I couldn't think of anything I'd rather be doing with my life," he said.

The series is narrated by actor Andrew Lincoln - a nice touch. Lincoln played naive, football-loving Egg in the excellent drama This Life, a character whose eyes would stand out on stalks at the sums of money splashed about by Baron, sister Beverly and co.

Beverly Bloom is famous for her shopping sprees. The 23-year-old has her own column in British newspaper the Daily Mail, called "Diary of a Big Spender."

The programme followed her around as she indulged in her favourite pastime of shelling out thousands of quid on designer clothing. The Plumgolian term for this activity is "my little habit, yah?"

A Bit of Posh offers more than the chance to goggle at the spending of the young and super rich. It makes distinctions.

Twenty-two-year-old entrepreneur Justin wasn't in quite the same league as some of the others. He's only a multi-millionaire - not a billionaire - and he works for his dosh, organising parties and balls for the teenage offspring of the elite classes.

But he was still allowed into the principality of Monaco and seemed to qualify as someone with the "right credentials" rather than the tourists and riff-raff pointed out by Baron Bloom.

There are other lessons to be learned from the show, too: the difference between old money and new and the benefits of possessing a title. "If people have a taitle, then they get treated better and with more respect."

The taitle of tonight's episode is Girls Who Have It All. We've already heard some morality tales about what happens to members of this group who aren't brought up correctly. They turn to drugs and men and - to quote the Plumgolian phrase, yah? - "lose their reputations."