Nicola Alpe: Why a good cry can be exactly what you need

Crying is a natural response to what's going on in the world right now, writes Nicola Alpe. Photo / Getty Images

Sometimes, nothing will do other than a good cry.

It's a scientific fact that women cry more than men. Apparently, we have shorter tear ducts, so the tears make it to the surface easier, although that sounds like a flimsy reason. Also, our tears contain different hormones to men's tears, similar to those we release when breastfeeding.

And on top of all that, researchers can tell the difference between a sad tear or an angry tear from its chemical make-up. Crying, while it can be messy, ugly and give us a headache, is a brilliant way to release tension and cleanse the mind. Surely, I'm not the only person one returning-soldier-video away from sobs.

Crying is a much better way to release negative emotions than becoming violent or having a huge row, and while crying is unfortunately associated with weakness thanks to the historical opinions of the patriarchy - men who cry being weak and women being the weaker sex - a good cry can do wonders for the soul and put us more in touch with our emotions than those stoic people who go through life with nary a chin wobble.

Best of all and contrary to what you'd expect, crying can release feel-good hormones like endorphins and oxytocin. Kids are proof of this when they combust into tears and are smiling and laughing shortly afterwards, but it can be harder for adults, with societal expectations and our pride, to let go.

Despite wishing for something to knock Covid off the news cycle, I sincerely wish it wasn't devastating Australian floods and the invasion of Ukraine, although they certainly are easy opportunities to bring bubbling sobs to the surface to recalibrate. Everywhere you look are opportunities to weep at the devastation of both incidents, but there are opportunities to marvel at the good in people and in true form, moments of joy and hope can yield just as many tears as sad ones. The physiological response is the same whether it's happy or sad, it just needs an immediate release. I challenge anyone who has had a child to not cry at the sight of those pushchairs left at the train station in Poland for mothers who have had to flee with their children.

To bring emotions to the surface it needn't be important world events that set you off. I was banned from watching Free Willy in my university flat because of the emotional devastation it brought when Willy made his final leap to freedom. I read on the weekend Prince Harry, and you could be forgiven for drawing parallels between Harry and Willy, is doing a bunk from his Grandfather's memorial service but is managing to head to The Netherlands to plug his Invictus Games. Cue a little cry. I'd do anything to have more time with my grandparents at the age I am now, a person much better equipped to appreciate the gift of having grandparents in your life. Please spare us the dramatics when Harry realises a Zoom is no match for a hug. Now I'm really getting maudlin.

Unfortunately, society is still uncomfortable with public emotion, so we gulp down our tears and continue teetering along our knife-edge until we can let loose in private. The kids may back away quietly, and your partner may give you a wide berth, but the resulting relief and lightness will be worth it and may help us cope with the state of the world a little better.