KEY POINTS:
Righto lads, listen up. This is very important.
Satin boxers are not sexy.
I thought this was a well established fact amongst all those over the age of 18, but apparently not.
So once again, for the record: Satin boxers = bad, bad, bad.
Indeed, the only thing worse than satin boxers are satin novelty boxers.
It doesn't matter if it's Donald or Daffy, Santa Claus or South Park. They are not funny.
I was recently horrified to see a male friend sporting this fashion faux pas and pointed out the error of his ways.
"What's so bad about them?" he asked.
"Everything," I replied.
After much discussion, I finally found an analogy he could relate to.
"Satin boxers are to women, what flesh coloured undies are to men."
"Euch!" he shuddered.
Exactly.
What I have never understood about the satin boxer phenomenon is why men would optionally wear such a hideously uncomfortable fabric.
Anyone who has slept on satin sheets (also a major, major turn off) will know how deeply unpleasant the satin sensation is - particularly in warmer weather.
It is not a breathable fabric.
At least flesh coloured undies - which are also banned in my house - serve a purpose.
(Though seeing as that purpose is to be invisible under white pants, which are yet another heinous fashion crime, one should never have need for them.)
Having said all this, I am starting to feel underwear is a slightly over-rated commodity.
As someone who has invested hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on my underwear collection, it never fails to amaze me how little attention it gets.
As Flicker so eloquently puts it, if you're at the stage where someone's going to see your undies, chances are they're already halfway off anyway.
In which case, it's safe to say they're probably not looking at your knickers, let alone noticing how nicely they match your brassiere.
Indeed, I think we've been sold a myth about women's lingerie.
I think men love the idea of it but when they're faced with the reality of a woman standing in her underwear, the only thing they are focused on is how to get it off.
Just a little food for thought...
