Gear up for Father's Day with these classic dad jokes. Photo / 123RF
Every good Kiwi knows what day Father’s Day is - and it’s fast approaching.
This Sunday, September 3, will be a day to celebrate all that our dads, granddads and father figures do for us.
And what's more appropriate on Father's Day than a classic dad joke? Better yet, you can beat Dad at his own game with a corny joke or two.
So, here are the best - or perhaps the worst - dad jokes of all time.
• A blue whale is so big that if you put it on a football field, the game would be cancelled.
• How do you light up a rugby stadium? With a rugby match.
• What do you call it when a hen looks at a lettuce? A chicken caesar salad.
• Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.
• My wife asked me to stop singing "Wonderwall" to her. I said maybe...
• What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!
• What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
• What do you call a reindeer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
• What would the Terminator be called in his retirement? The Exterminator.
• Dad: It said on the news that an actress has stabbed someone. Think her name was Reese. Mum: Witherspoon? Dad: No, with a knife.
• Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
• What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A Lamborghini.
• My dog can do magic tricks. He's a Labracadabrador.
• When does a joke become a "dad joke?" When it becomes apparent.
• A new shop has opened called Moderation. They have everything in there.
• Dad: Can I administer my own anaesthetic? Surgeon: Go ahead - knock yourself out.
• I refused to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I went round to his house all the signs were there.
• I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
• What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.
• How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
Even spent vanilla pods and coriander stems deserve a second act in your kitchen.