Paul Henry became Balmain's newest resident and couldn't wait for his new Channel Ten brekkie show to start. His biggest regret, he told us, "was not getting his TV3 talk show up and running". Turns out that wasn't to be his only compunction. The Aussie gig got canned after disastrous ratings and Henry boarded a boomerang back to Godzone faster than you can say "Dikshit career blip".
Ali Mau popped the question to her girlfriend of two years, Karleen Edmonds, and told us she was "very, very happy but a bit taken aback by all the fuss". She said same-sex marriage "is a basic human right" and she wants the right to marry her girlfriend.
•TVNZ told us it would launch New Zealand's Got Talent, and five months later, said it would come at the expense of the network's current affairs show, Sunday, which was hacked back for 13 weeks to make way for jugglers, warblers and dancers. Judge Rachel Hunter wasn't fazed. She showed her appreciation for the bizarre by graduating from a witchcraft workshop in Salem, Massachusetts.
Adam Parore and Sally Ridge went to the High Court at Auckland to sort through their matrimonial settlement, which, alas, didn't get a mention on Ridge's eponymous reality show. Her three youngest children were banned by their dads from appearing.
National MP Tau Henare had a quickie wedding in Parliament during a dinner break in the House. He married his partner of 25 years, Ngaire Brown, before embarking with her on a work jaunt and sightsee of Egypt and Uganda, where unmarried couples are frowned upon.
•TV3 reporter Patrick Gower made a splash frolicking with John Key at a hotel pool in Jakarta on a trade talk junket. A bromance quickly blossomed and a Special Relationship was born. "He could be sure I wasn't carrying a secret recorder," Gower joked in reference to Tea Tape-gate. But he wasn't laughing at rumours he sported a pair of 3 News-branded budgie smugglers.
•Lucy Lawless celebrated her gig at the King's Arms with a slap-up at The White Lady. Colin Mathura-Jeffree celebrated his 40th birthday with a masquerade party, a mag deal and a rent-a-crowd. Frank Bunce celebrated his new trade - a tyre shop in Thames. And Shortland St celebrated 20 years with a party hosted by TVNZ. John Barnett, owner of South Pacific Pictures, told us the network wasn't so hospitable at the outset, only accepting the show on a yearly basis.
•Love blossomed for luvvie Robyn Malcolm and her man of mystery - Scottish actor and film-maker Peter Mullan. The pair met on the set of Jane Campion's television series Top of the Lake and Malcolm hightailed it to the Highlands, tweeting conspicuously: "Flying to Scotland".
Friend of plucked brows, Michelle Boag, stared down nemesis Crusher Collins from the safety of the gallery perch, then made a surprise panto appearance on the news that night, lurking behind Paddy Gower as he reported live from Parliament. A flurry of tweets to Gower warned: "She's behind you!" Only, Patrick Gower of Kent, England was the unwitting recipient.
•Willie Apiata, VC, moved outside the military to a youth charity run by Tina Grant (the wife of a fallen former SAS colleague) and guarded his privacy. Kylee Guy, however, hired celebrity agent Andy Haden and gushed to a women's mag. So too, did her sister-in-law, Anna Guy, who later told us she was moving to Auckland and into the media. She'll report three autobiographical stories on TV3's new current affairs show 3rd Degree. Network reporters rolled their eyes and Duncan Garner lambasted it "a joke". Has TV3 found its next blonde reality TV star?
Mikey Havoc made a media comeback to pirate radio station Hauraki and displayed a happier and humbler side. "One-and-a-half years unemployed will do that to you," he told us. Josh Kronfeld made a media splash, too, rebranding himself as a morning talk show host on Choice TV. Dan Carter joined Twitter and became a one-man media machine staging his own press conferences, and the Conchords turned media darlings unveiling a special comedy song for charity.
Tau Henare and his Labour offsider Trevor Mallard scrapped on Twitter, prompting one unimpressed follower to label the row as "too many dicks on the dance floor". Journo Jane Clifton was busted holding hands with Mallard on Lambton Quay. Their romance saw Labour's bovver boy rebranded "Trevor Mellowed".
Kim Dotcom was hailed the hero du jour by some, but his self-serving role as internet freedom fighter grew tiring for others. He used Twitter to foster his cause and a fledgling pop career, but drew indignation after posting a wildly inappropriate joke about rape, before yanking it down faster than you could scream "raid".
Val Adams drew applause at her gold medal ceremony at the Cloud for her heroic accomplishment and sacrifice. "I've been sleeping on a single bed for nine months with my feet hanging off the end. It's not like you can take anyone back there," she laughed.
•We said Close Up was closing down, and, worse, revealed Richard Kahui was off the market. The injured All Black popped the question to his long-time girlfriend Amy Rhodes.
Winston Peters hit the DJ decks, Eva Longoria hit the diva button and Dan and Honor hit the roof when the paparazzi took their piccie at breakfast. Rod Stewart was more self-effacing, admitting in his autobiography that he lay on the couch for months after Our Rach dumped him. Al Gore was more a bore at the black-tie dinner in his tribute. Miuccia Prada quietly breezed into town to launch Luna Rossa's America's Cup boat, while the surprise party given for Paul Holmes by close pals loudly and proudly honoured him for his extensive charity work.
The TV awards turned boisterous thanks to free-flowing plonk and a poor sound system. More FM turned to Hayley Holt to replace Amber Peebles on the station's breakfast show. The Duchess of Cornwall turned to a shapeless sack as a "New Zealand themed" sartorial statement at a jubilee celebration dinner. The touring ABs turned into Twitter ads for Chelsea football. And a gaggle of MPs turned up at Duncan Garner's boozy farewell from the press gallery.
•Hobbit fever was rife. The New York Times called notoriously private Fran Walsh "one of Hollywood's biggest living mysteries". Her hubby, Peter Jackson, was more visible. Obsequious reporters littered the red carpet at The Hobbit's Wellington premiere and local TV coverage was more saturated than bystanders at a Gerry Brownlee pool bombing.