SPOILER ALERT: If you've not seen tonight's episode of The Bachelorette NZ and want to do so without knowing anything of the foibles of the blokes vying for the affections of Bachelorettes Lesina Nakhid-Schuster and Lily McManus, do not even think about reading on.
Hey, can we steal you for a second? Because The Bachelorette NZ was back on our screens tonight. SINEAD CORCORAN recaps the action.
Good evening and welcome back to another riveting recap of what happened on tonight's episode of The Bachelorette - and buckle up, cause tonight was a doozy.
The episode kicked off as per with the boys solely focused on their blossoming bromances with each other.
We first caught up with the lads as they were cosied up in a gratitude circle - and not a metaphorical one mind you, a literal circle shape with their heads all together in the middle.
• The Bachelorette NZ recap, episode 18: The worst cocktail party ever, and a Christmas cliffhanger
• The Bachelorette NZ recap, episode 20: Someone gets friend-zoned for good
• The Bachelorette NZ recap, episode 19: A chicken crisis, a vulnerability circle and Richie picks his gal
• The Bachelorette NZ recap, episode 15: Mike calls Lesina out on her BS and it's so hot
They then proceeded to go round the circle sharing with the group which incredibly niche things they're most thankful for. Liam picked sunsets, Elliot picked the swimming pool, Aaron - kooky as ever- picked "the love of a dog". Which dog? Any dog? It was not clear, but who cares, dogs are great.
We then moved on to the "challenge" portion of the episode, and Lesina and Lily had apparently decided what better way to choose a life partner than based off their synchronised swimming prowess.
In an actual shocking plot twist, kumara farmer Michael was voted MVP and star of the show, for performing his synchronised swimming routine completely naked - stunning and brave.
His prize was extra one-on-one time with Lesina who declared on national television during a family-friendly time slot that she "liked his dedicated and THE SIZE OF HIS TALENT." Incredible.
After Michael got his kumara out though, things got absolutely hectic. Later that evening at the cocktail party, Unravelling and Insecure Aaron decided that because he's been feeling so unravelley and insecure, the best course of action would be to utterly chuck fellow contestant Liam under the bus.
He whisked Lily away for a "chat" at which point he informed her that he's heard through the gossip grapevine that Liam has been bragging about having a girl waiting for him back home in Perth, and that he never told her he was going on The Bachelorette but instead lied and said he was going on holiday to Hawaii.
Lily understandably flipped her lid at this revelation, and dragged Liam off to find out the tea for herself.
He denied the allegations and said that he'd made it all up to save face when he thought he was about to be sent home a couple of episodes ago, but he did admit to having been seeing someone before coming on the show.
"So you've led someone on and now ghosted them?" asked Lily. "I don't want to support shitty behaviour against other women, I can't have you treat another woman like garbage but then treat me well."
And in case that was HECTIC enough, Lily then told Liam to PACK HIS DAMN BAGS and go home, because it's 2020 and we are done with men's BS, thank you next - but not before Aaron was forced to come clean about being the one who narked on him.
Will Liam cry and beg Lily to let him stay? Will he drown Aaron in the Argentinian Airbnb swimming pool? Both very likely outcomes, so don't touch that dial and meet me back here tomorrow night for all the goss.
Tune in to The Bachelorette NZ again on Sunday night at 7.00pm, and in the meantime subscribe to the official Bachelorette podcast, Can I Steal You For A Second – hosted by yours truly and my wing-woman Anna Henvest. Plus, follow along with us on Instagram for all our behind the scenes vids.