Sideswipe: February 1: Why the prone toaster?

Spotted at Shelly Beach Top 10 holiday park and keen to learn why someone would choose to do this. Paul Cornish.

Bus Shelter madness

"Has the council, or those in charge of bus shelters, set up a new Fantasy Dept, or do the planners get a bonus for coming up with the wackiest ideas? This new shelter in Okahu Bay, off Tamaki Drive, takes the cake. While it may look cool and fit in with our summer setting it is not fit for purpose. In fact, it may not pass the ACC safety check. Can you imagine an older person, firstly trying to safely lower themselves into the deck chair, let alone safely getting themselves out as the bus approaches? The mind boggles even thinking about what could go wrong. Goodness knows how long these canvas chairs will last in the weather, certainly not 10-plus years that standard bench seat shelters seem to last. Basically, not fit for purpose and a huge waste of ratepayer money!"

Middle-aged model

Liang Xiaoqing is China's most popular "auntie" fashion model, a niche segment aimed at marketing fashion products to middle-aged and elderly women. But hang on, she is only 29 years old. She has been working as an "auntie" model since she was 18, trying her best to look distinguished and elegant, but also a lot older than her real age. Her tall figure and round, pleasant face apparently make her the perfect auntie model, and over the years she has perfected the art of posing and displaying the emotions that appeal most to her target audience.

Got teenagers?

1. "My teenage daughter just walked into my room and said: 'Mum, if you take my hairbrush can you please remember to put it back?' I just looked at her and laughed and laughed and laughed until she slowly backed out of the room."

2. "My teen is 'starving'. The only thing he's eaten today is a bowl of Weetbix, five sandwiches, 12 muesli bars, a rotisserie chicken ..."

3. "Teen tried to make a dramatic exit by slamming my door, but there was a towel on the knob. No slam, and no dignity for her as I died laughing."

4. "Parenting tip: Learn to breakdance so when you meet your teenager's new friends, you have a cool talent to show them."

5. "Just changed the Netflix password so my teenager has to come out of his room to talk to me."