When a letter from a neighbour turns up in your letter box, you know it ain't going to be pretty. Here's what one Aucklander found in theirs this week: "Hi Neighbour, I just wanted to leave a note in regards to your children and their noise levels. Ido not have children myself, but I once was one. Nowadays, with the blessing of technology, kids can be babysat by a variety of different screens that keep them quiet for hours! It seems that your children either are not offered these or do not have any interest in them and I wanted to congratulate you on that. I have not met your children, I simply hear them screaming, laughing, crying, singing and talking outside almost every day from my house. They sound like they are having a memorable childhood! One where they get mud on their clothes, cuts on their skin and I'm sure squished the odd bug between their toes! I hear the way you speak to them sometimes and I wanted to commend you on your patience and kindness. I'm sure it is not easy. Your neighbour."
Now we've herd of everything
Leigh Wilson writes: "It's very rare I get a laugh during the news, and it was very sad for the cow, but when One News newsreader Peter Williams said that there was concern in Whanganui (when a police officer fired at a cow roaming the streets) that someone could have been 'caught in the crossfire', my husband and I burst out laughing. Was the cow shooting back?"
First it was the Welsh TV3 insulted by claiming Cardiff was in England and now they're having a crack at the Irish!
"Pre-order" paleo bread? What is it with the rash of "pre-ordering". What does "pre-order" even mean? Order, we all understand. "Pre-order" must mean to order before you order.
Scene: Bakery
Customer: I'd like to order some bread, please.
Baker: Sure, but you'll have to pre-order it first.
Customer: Okay, can I pre-order it now?
Baker: Sure. Shoot!
Customer: I'd like to pre-order some bread, please. One loaf of paleo.
Baker: Cool. Now please order it.
Customer: Okay. Now can I please order the bread I pre-ordered?
Baker: Is that to be the same loaf of paleo you pre-ordered?
Customer: Eh? Oh yeah, the pre-ordered and ordered loaves should be identical. The one I ordered and the one I pre-ordered should be the same.
Baker: One and one are two. So that'll be two paleos for tomorrow then.
Customer: Forget it. I'll get a Vienna at the supermarket.
Baker: We have those. But you have to pre-order them.
Happiness ain't what you think...(art by Steve Cutts)
Good read: Children are more likely to be murdered within the first three years of their life than at any other time and Jarrod Gilbert thinks that while we react to the lurid, gut-churning details of the violence, an opportunity to focus out attention on ways and means of prevention is lost.
That's fairly interesting: What are the penalties for public nudity around the world?
Video: For some reason someone has auto-tuned a bunch of cows...
