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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: May 26: Everyone's creative in Wellywood

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
25 May, 2020 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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I'll have a cubist cut please and a kilo of that Patti Smith Pork while you're at it..."

I'll have a cubist cut please and a kilo of that Patti Smith Pork while you're at it..."

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Leadership downunder

Under the heading "JACINDA VINCI CODE", Nextdraft's Dave Pell writes: "There will be plenty of books written on, courses taught about and Frontline episodes covering the leaders who got the pandemic wrong. But it's just as important — both for lessons learned and our sanity — to focus on leaders who got it right. Which brings us, once again, to New Zealand (at this point, many around the world would settle for a slightly used Zealand) and a leader worth Ardern. Yes, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern of New Zealand has been held up as an example before but JA Rules and it's worth revisiting the topic to get to the bottom of why, for Christchurch's sake, more countries can't have leaders who live up to the ideals of the Kiwi people. Damien Cave in the NYT: Jacinda Ardern Sold a Drastic Lockdown With Straight Talk and Mom Jokes. "Ms. Ardern started doing weekly updates, often from home, mixing comments about nap time with details about poverty or transportation legislation. With each update, she got better at boiling down government into a conversation you might hear over dinner."

"Good morning to everyone except my boyfriend, who didn't consult me before he used washing-up liquid in lieu of dishwasher tablets last night."
"Good morning to everyone except my boyfriend, who didn't consult me before he used washing-up liquid in lieu of dishwasher tablets last night."

Secrets of your profession …

Vet: Your dog or cat is much more comfortable when you are there with them during euthanasia. It's really hard when people say, "It's too hard for me to be here with him." And leave the room for it. It is one of the hardest things ever but they need you there with them. They look around for you sometimes. That being said, if we do the euthanasia without you, we always have one staff member whose only job during the procedure is to cuddle and comfort your pet and tell them how much their owner loves them and what a "good boy" they are. Ghostwriter: Most of my clients are Russian or Middle Eastern men who publish five to 10 ghost-written romance or erotica books a week under female pen names. They spend $10k a month and double or triple that by flooding the market. At one point one client told me he had six of the top 10 Regency Romance spots on the paid bestseller list.

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Bad joke corner

A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2025 pigs. His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm. "Is it true that you lost two thousand and twenty-five pigs?" he asked. "Yeth," said the farmer. The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs".

Discover more

Opinion

Sideswipe: What a drip

19 May 05:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Lockdown drinking laid bare

20 May 05:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Beardy weirdness

21 May 05:00 PM
Entertainment

Sideswipe: May 25: The ironists are coming

24 May 05:00 PM
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