SPOILER ALERT: If you've not seen tonight's episode of The Bachelorette NZ and want to do so without knowing anything of the foibles of the blokes vying for the affections of Bachelorettes Lesina Nakhid-Schuster and Lily McManus, do not even think about reading on.
Hey, can we steal you for a second? Because The Bachelorette NZ was back on our screens tonight. SINEAD CORCORAN recaps the action.
Good evening and welcome back to my riveting recap of what happened on The Bachelorette.
We kicked things off back at the cocktail party where Hot Mike informed Lesina he might not be the pandering kind of bloke she's looking for.
"I'm not going to just tell you what you want to hear or treat you like a princess," he said.
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Things went from bad to worse when Kumara farmer Michael schlepped in next to once again (and very understandably) tell Lesina how very sick of being strung along he was.
"I'm going to cut to the chase, "he said.
"I've developed feelings for you, and while everyone's had at least two dates with you, I've had zero."
"I'm not usually an angry person, but you said everyone would get a chance and I haven't had one at all. I don't let people muck me round like this."
While she apologised for hurting his feelings, she didn't really have an explanation or reason for still not having taken him on a single date, despite being *this close* to the finale – so he schlepped off again to mull things over (fair enough).
It was also no wonder then that after two of the world's most awkward chats – when Aaron schlepped in next, Lesina basically screamed with relief and told him she's "missed him heaps."
"Her telling me she missed me was a special moment I'm going to cherish forever, she's obviously catching feels," he said smugly.
Classic Aaron though obviously couldn't last long without absolutely putting his foot in it, as per.
"So Lesina, tell me – what made you go on a TV show?"
As by this point Lesina is probably lying awake at night wondering the same thing, her answer was understandably pained.
"Well, I don't have it all figured out yet but I guess for personal growth? And maybe to meet someone?"
And while yes, with that goal in mind in hindsight Queer Eye may have been a better reality show choice – but unfortunately she did pick the one where finding love is the premise, so my heart does go out to her cause it is clearly Not Going to Plan.
Things then went from worse to worst at the rose party, when Kumara farmer Michael finally decided enough was enough and send HIMSELF home.
"Lily, Lesina – I'm sorry but I feel I haven't been given the respect I deserve, so with that, I'm ending my journey on this."
Good luck and godspeed Old MacDonald, you were too good for this place anyway.
Tune in to The Bachelorette NZ again on Tuesday night at 7.30pm, and in the meantime subscribe to the official Bachelorette podcast, Can I Steal You For A Second – hosted by yours truly and my wing-woman Anna Henvest. Plus, follow along with us on Instagram for all our behind the scenes vids.