SPOILER ALERT: If you've not seen tonight's episode of The Bachelorette NZ and want to do so without knowing anything of the foibles of the blokes vying for the affections of Bachelorettes Lesina Nakhid-Schuster and Lily McManus, do not even think about reading on.
Hey, can we steal you for a second? Because The Bachelorette NZ was back on our screens tonight. SINEAD CORCORAN recaps the action.
Giddy up cowboys and gals, we're off to the polo.
On tonight's episode of The Bachelorette, Lily and Lesina whisked the lads away on a horse-riding group date.
It'll probably come as no surprise to you that kumara Michael farmer took to horse riding like a kumara chip to Burgerfuel aioli, and was galloping around the paddocks like Zorro while the rest of the boys concentrated on not being trampled to death.
• The Bachelorette NZ recap, episode 18: The worst cocktail party ever, and a Christmas cliffhanger
• The Bachelorette NZ recap, episode 22: Liam's gone, Jesse's sobbing and Aaron gives Lesina a ring
• The Bachelorette NZ recap, episode 20: Someone gets friend-zoned for good
• The Bachelorette NZ recap, episode 21: Someone's lying, Lily's had enough, and one man is sent home
Despite Michael being the clear horse-riding star, Lesina obviously picked Hot Mike for the one-on-one date because he's Hot Mike, but it does not go well.
As per, Hot Mike turns the tables on Lesina's go-to police interrogation technique and the pair of them spend the entire date trying to out-grill each other.
"Where do you see someone fitting into your life?" asked Lesina.
"Where do you see someone fitting into YOUR life?" Mike barked back.
"Well what are your intentions?" asked Lesina.
"WELL WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS?" squawked Mike.
You get it.
Later that night kumara farmer Michael was finally able to nab about 37 seconds of Lesina's time and understandably had a bit of a tant about the fact that as he still hasn't had a single date, he's basically being locked up in an Argentinian prison for no gain whatsoever.
"I'm really frustrated because we haven't been on a single date but everyone else has, so what am I still doing here?" he asked.
"I'm hoping it's not out of pity, like are you just keeping me here because I'm an intruder and you feel obligated to give me a chance, just for the hell of it?"
Lesina then attempted to ease Michaels' concerns by reassuring him she is the ever-watching Big Brother.
"What do you think a one-of-one would offer us though? You've been on group dates and I can see you there, I'm always paying attention, everything is noted."
Perplexingly, this seemed to put Michael's concerns to bed and even more incredibly, that was exactly his next assumption.
"Yeah you're probably right aye, I reckon maybe we don't even need a one-on-one and could just go straight to the full overnight?"
Stunning and brave.
Tune in to The Bachelorette NZ again on Sunday night at 7.00pm, and in the meantime subscribe to the official Bachelorette podcast, Can I Steal You For A Second – hosted by yours truly and my wing-woman Anna Henvest. Plus, follow along with us on Instagram for all our behind the scenes vids.