We're four weeks into the first season of The Bachelorette NZ, and it's already been a rollercoaster of a ride.
Between all the dates, group challenges, rose ceremonies, eliminations and a SECOND BLOODY BACHELORETTE we'll forgive you if you've lost track on who's leading the race/races for Lesina and Lily's heart/hearts.
To help you out, here's The Hot List - a weekly top 10 of who we're tipping to get that final rose. It's based on what we like and what we think Lesina and Lily like and there's absolutely no rhyme, reason or science to it beyond that.
• The Bachelorette intruders: Five new bachelors jump in the mix
• The Bachelorette NZ episode 14: Pashes, ultimatums and revenge of the hernia
• The Bachelorette NZ episode 13: Marc goes home, Aaron's out of control and Steve's raging
• The Bachelorette NZ: The Hot List week 3 - the eligible bachelors, rated
We'll be doing the same thing until the lucky bloke(s) get(s) their gal(s).
Drop-crotch pantsing his way into first place is New Zealand's hottest male seamstress, newcomer Richie Boyens.
While I could pretend this is because of his flair for empanada-making or his Project Runway skills, I think we all know it's because he's very hot and this is called The Hot List after all.
Slipping into second place (but only ever so slightly) is Quinn. Despite having about 11 seconds of screentime all week, and doing absolutely nothing noteworthy whatsoever, he still gets the silver medal for being consistently lovely. Quinnsistent if you will.
We've also awarded Mike a well-deserved bronze medal for surviving Lesina's police interrogation as to whether he's "a confrontational or jealous person," while remaining cool, calm, collected and very attractive.
He also scored bonus points for those green eyes. These are my power rankings and I can do what I want.
Fourth place goes to Tavita the trooper, who is bravely soldiering on despite battling with the breakout star of the series – a scene-stealing hernia that just won't quit. Here's hoping he makes it through another week without literally spilling his guts out on national TV.
Props to this wily fox for managing to talk Lesina into putting sunblock on his bald head, claiming that "rubbing it will bring good luck". (We've all heard that one ladieees, am I right?)
He also scored points for sensibly informing her that they'll both need to have feelings for each other in order for this to work, and that he's well aware she's not just a "prize to be won".
Steve is not having a good time ay, and it shows. He was raging again this week after having his lunch cut yet again by the man in the Beetlejuice suit who very recently outed him as a secret durry smoker.
The only noteworthy thing he's done all week is venomously hiss "YOU DON'T F*** YOUR FRIENDS" at Aaron which is a real shame as I had pegged him as a frontrunner.
Logan has obviously plummeted this week as he didn't buy Lesina any cheese. And Logan, you've only got yourself to blame - don't set such a high snack bar next time.
He only narrowly avoided last place because his pash skills have apparently marginally approved (Lesina said his mouth was "less dry" this week. Stunning.)
I just truly have no idea what this poor lamb is saying, please get in touch if you've been able to make out any comprehensible sentences.
I have no choice but to put the Honeybadger in second-to-last place, because nothing makes a gal hotter than being reminded she owes someone a pash that they "earned" in a race. I joke. This was an absolute boner-killer.
Aaron once again slumped to the bottom of the heap after he a) wore a Beetlejuice suit and b) interrupted Steve's one-on-one time with Lesina and stole her away, despite ALREADY HAVING A ROSE. Snakey.
Tune in to The Bachelorette NZ again on Sunday night at 7pm, and in the meantime subscribe to the official Bachelorette podcast, Can I Steal You For A Second – hosted by yours truly and my wing-woman Anna Henvest. Plus, follow along with us on Instagram for all our behind the scenes vids.