SPOILER ALERT: If you've not seen tonight's episode of The Bachelorette NZ and want to do so without knowing anything of the foibles of the blokes vying for the affections of Bachelorettes Lesina Nakhid-Schuster and Lily McManus, do not even think about reading on.
Hey, can we steal you for a second? Because The Bachelorette NZ was back on our screens tonight. SINEAD CORCORAN recaps the action.
Good evening and welcome back to your favourite recap on what the f those cheeky chaps are up to now.
Tonight's episode kicks off with New Hot Richie's birthday, and as this is a show predominantly about finding bromances, while Lesina and LIly are a constant secondary priority - the lads set out to get their new BFF a chocky cake.
Later that evening it was the weekly cocktail party and things kicked off with a hiss, a roar and another Aaron-induced roid-rage from Steve.
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This particular tant was because Aaron - dressed exactly like Harry Wormwood, the dodgy car salesman dad in Matilda - interrupted Steve's one-on-one time with Lesina and stole her away for a second, despite ALREADY HAVING A ROSE. Classic snakey Harry Wormwood move if you ask me.
And Steve was understandably not jazzed about having his lunch cut yet again by the man in the Beetlejuice suit who very recently outed him as a secret durry smoker.
"YOU DON'T F... YOUR FRIENDS" he hissed at Aaron.
Quite right Steve.
In a real plot twist however, Lesina sent Marc home during the rose ceremony - and as this followed last week's episode where he revealed his genitals to her, I think we simply must deduce she did not like what she saw. A devastating blow on national television if you ask me.
The following day after she unsuccessfully attempted to palm hand-me-down, Sweaty Elliot off to Lily, she decided to give him a second shot after all - and took him on a romantic single-date boat ride.
While floating down the river, Elliot also managed to talk her into putting sunblock on his bald head, claiming that "rubbing it will bring good luck."
We've all heard that one ladieees, am I right?
Scallywagging aside, during the date he did sensibly inform her that they'll both need to have feelings for each other in order for this to work, and that he's well aware she's not just a "prize to be won."
I personally found this a pleasant change from a couple of the other guys who have been projecting an aggressive Hunger Games energy.
Meanwhile across Argentina-town, Lily took New Hot Richie on an empanada-making class (which TBH they burn a bit, but who am I to judge - I Ubereats every meal).
Horror of horrors though, she revealed off-camera that she is concerned that Richie might be a bit #normie for her (see *basic) as she's a cool, shoey-ing, shaka-brahing, hang ten-ing skater girl.
I personally agree Lily, it's clear you're not a match whatsoever - I think you'd best send him my way.
Tune in to The Bachelorette NZ again tomorrow night at 7.30pm, and in the meantime subscribe to the official Bachelorette podcast, Can I Steal You For A Second – hosted by yours truly and my wing-woman Anna Henvest. Plus, follow along with us on Instagram for all our behind the scenes vids.