Okay, let's tackle the Janet Jackson thing first.
Last week she copped flak for some of her performances in Australia, with some fans variously saying the star had major sound issues, was "low energy" and appeared to be lip-synching. Others were more than happy with her efforts.
We wondered which Janet Auckland would get — and we're still not sure.
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It's undeniable plenty of people voted with their feet, streaming out of Western Springs throughout her headline set.
If you were being charitable, fair enough. It was Sunday after all, and you'd be hard-pressed to find an act worth staying up past 9pm for on a school night, especially when you hadn't done your washing or supermarket shop yet.
Plus, a lot of people looked like they'd had a very big day on the drink. That and the heat — maybe they'd just had enough?
Finally there was the age factor. Janet was in her prime a good few years before the other acts. Perhaps the crowd didn't have those shared memories of cavorting to her hits.
For me, while she didn't appear to be lip-synching, her headline performance was ho-hum at best and there were audio issues too.
But let's move on to the good news! The rest of the concert, particularly the international acts, was great.
Keri Hilson performed a top-notch rendition of her Gal Power anthem, Pretty Girl Rock, and proved you can still pull off denim short-shorts even post-35.
Brandy, bless her soul, struggled through some painful audio issues herself, but apologised profusely so we all forgave her.
Irrelevant side note: she was also wearing the most fascinating outfit of the night, an oversized poncho top that resembled an advent calendar made of felt (but was probably $20k and from Gucci).
A saturated, sweat-soaked Jason Derulo and 50 Cent had the crowd twerking to bangers like it was 2am on Ponsonby Rd — despite the fact it was daylight in a grassy field.
And even though it's 15 years on and Fergie's long-gone, Black Eyed Peas absolutely smashed it.
The crowd was jumping to Where Is the Love?, Pump It and I Gotta Feeling just like it was 2004 again and we were back at the school disco listening to our PE teacher's Now That's What I Call Music CD.
I'm quite certain Auckland's collective office productivity will be significantly down today after seeing the absolute state of many of the crowd.
I didn't drink because I couldn't bear the thought of attempting to write this review hungover, but for those of you poor souls who did, I recommend Hydralyte from your local pharmacy.