Dinner thwarted. A reader writes: "Sick to the back teeth of deciding what to cook night after night and trudging to the supermarket day after day, I decided on a food delivery subscription. But on Sunday I waited for delivery but it was a no-show. A delivery issue I'm told. The next day, waiting again and I get a call from the delivery guy. He hesitates then asks: "Do you have a bear?" he asked. "No mate, it's a joke." Shhhhhh! Much laughter. He took it well.
Pets behaving badly
"Our dearly loved and sadly now departed Aussie terrier, Basil lived for food," writes Jude Cottle. "One day at Tutukaka, our three dogs, small and harmless, were having a lead-free sniff around the garden. We noticed Basil wasn't with the other two and started to get a bit worried. We searched everywhere. The last possible place he could be was the upstairs of a large building where there was a gathering of people. My husband went up the stairs to discover it was actually a wedding reception and there, inside, standing under the main buffet table was Basil waiting for a sausage roll crumb. He dashed in, got the dog under his arm, and retreated past the surprised guests."
A writer suggests an alternate plot for a female villain in Batman. "The Joker should have been a woman. And she finally went insane because too many random dudes told her to smile, so now she perpetually smiles while terrorising Gotham. She becomes a sort of folk hero for the women of Gotham. She unleashes financial records for companies that don't compensate women properly. She blackmails cheaters and misogynists. She threatens the goddamn patriarchy. It's terrifying and wonderful. The Batman needs to stop her to restore the order of things, but on some level, he's conflicted. She's a villain. But she's right. Her catchphrase would be 'Well, actually ... ' and then she'd just trail off and laugh maniacally." (Via @theeverywhereist)