Sideswipe: February 18: Lookalikes

Clipping the ticket or gouging it?

"So Dad has bought a clean burning fire for his house in Rotorua" writes a reader. "He has to get a permit to get it installed. Cost of burner — $3000 ... Cost of install — $1500 ... Cost of permit — $2700. Nearly three grand for a piece of paper! I just had a look and yep, the $2700 is required as a deposit before they'll even process the application. Might be that the burner goes back and he carries on polluting. Well done Environment BOP."

Pet names

1. "My wife is Hillary and I am Bill so naturally the new cat as the other female in our lives was named Monica Meowski."

2. "We named our black poodle Tarmac. But we said if we ever got a female poodle we'd call her Bitumix!"

3. "Always a dilemma on the lifestyle block, to name your animals or not? Our farmer friend (who raised Murray Grey cattle) suggested that we name our new Hereford cross calves, Stewie and Cassie, in view of their likely fate. Later on when we ran into each other I told her that Stewie and Cassie were still doing well. There were a few startled looks when she blithely replied, "Oh, we ate Murray!"

Blunt hospital brochure

"I had a wee spell in Auckland Hospital last month, and had to laugh out loud when the very kind nurses (yeah, I know that's a cliche, but it was true) gave me this brochure with my discharge papers," writes a reader. "As an inspirational brochure for older patients (used, the back cover says, by Auckland, Waitemata, Counties Manukau, and Northland District Health Boards) I found the title hard to beat!

Lost memories

A red photo album flew off a car roof on Abbotts Way, Remuera, 10am on Wednesday 13th Feb, found on the road and handed in to Edmund Hillary Retirement Village. May belong to a "Vera".

Video Pick

This could be the best New Zealand beer ad, ever made…