"A fairy cursed you at birth," tweets Louie Stowel, "But with a very minor, very petty curse, that serves to make your life just a little bit worse. What was that curse?
"You will try, at least three times, to insert a USB cable or stick into the port by turning it back and forth before inserting it correctly.
"I always forget one ingredient when I'm in the grocery store.
"I always need to pee after painting my nails.
"Cursed with being tall, I've been unable to turn to a life of crime because I'd be so easily picked out in a line-up.
"Any item of clothing I put on immediately looks as crumpled and messy as if I'd retrieved it from underneath a small hedge where a possum had given birth on it."
"To the 20+ students having a get-together, with loads of pizza and playing frisbee with paper plates in Myers Park, Auckland central on Friday ... This is how you left the park. Absolutely pristine! You're welcome back every time," says Peter from Parklane Apartments.
Chapter of errors
Thirty-eight years ago today transtasman sporting relations reached a new low at the Melbourne Cricket Ground when Australian captain Greg Chappell ordered his brother, Trevor, to bowl the final delivery of a 50-over cricket international against New Zealand underarm (along the ground).
According to NZHistory, this is how it went down ... "The visitors needed a six just to tie the match — a tall order for batsman Brian McKechnie. The stakes were high: a tie would prolong the series. But the underarm final ball — a delivery then legal but contrary to the spirit of the game — ended that. McKechnie blocked it before throwing his bat away in disgust.
"The real turning point of the match had also involved Greg Chappell. Having scored 52, he was caught in the outfield by Martin Snedden. Chappell refused to take Snedden's word for it and the umpires disallowed the catch. Chappell went on to make 90 as the Australians compiled 235/4. To add to New Zealanders' chagrin, the underarm delivery should have been called a no-ball. In the excitement of the moment, the Australian field had been set incorrectly."