Rent a fool

A guy seeking legal advice on Reddit claims he made a song with "shock humour" and is now getting evicted: "I'm a relatively popular rapper in the area I live. I recently wrote a song that was meant to be hyperbole, but it basically says I'm going to kill my landlord and that everyone should kill their landlord. It's kind of way, way over the top and describes in exact detail how I would kill and eat my landlord, and says multiple times in my song it's not a joke and that I'm dead serious. (It really is meant to be a joke.) Apparently my landlord heard it and got offended, and is threatening to evict me at the end of the month. He has not contacted the police as far as I know. I know I've been stupid, but can he evict me over what I said in a song? (recorded in studio, not in the apartment.)" (Source: u/Parking_Team on Reddit.)

Theory has appeal

"The reaction of pitch to the potassium released by ripening bananas is news to me," writes Robert McConnell. "I understood the greatest risk to be from the fact that the bananas at the bottom of the load tended to ripen first, especially when becalmed in the tropics. The ship would drift under full sail hoping to catch any breath of wind but a sudden gust could heel the ship over enough to cause movement in the cargo. The softer fruit would collapse under the weight of the firmer fruit above, generating enough force to burst the planking or capsize the ship completely, sending all to Davy Jones locker."

"Who needs a vege garden," writes Alison, who found a tomato plant which had sprouted in a drain. Photo / Supplied

Car-sting call

Do you have a sweet ride from 1986 or earlier? The makers of New Zealand's favourite bogan drama, Westside, are looking for vintage cars to star in series five of the show. Must be in full working order, filming in Auckland. Email a pic of your vehicle and your contact details to westsidetvcars@gmail.com.

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