Punchlines become endangered species
British Dad Nick Harvey regularly tweets about tormenting one of his sons by spoiling his jokes with facts. Here's some of what he's written:
Son: What do cows eat for breakfast?
Me: Hang on a sec. (Googles): Farmers often use corn and soy as a base for their animal feed. These protein-rich grains help bring cows to market weight faster, and, because they're cheaper than other feed options, they ...
Son: [sadly] Moosli.
Son: What are caterpillars afraid of?
Me: It's unlikely that they experience fear. They're not self-aware, so ...
Son: [sadly] Dogerpillars.
Son: How does Moses make tea?
Me: Moses isn't alive, darling, and back then, I'm not even sure that people drank tea.
Son: [sadly] Hebrews it.
Doors open more cheaply for Aussies
A reader writes: "I thought you might be interested in the attached image of a product on both Bunnings' New Zealand and Australian websites. It shows identical garage door emergency access locks which in Australia cost A$19.98 ($21.29) and in New Zealand $54 (A$52.44) That's a big price difference ... No wonder we have an 'affordable' housing crisis."
Hashtag of the day #OnlineShoppingSongs
I would ship 500 miles
Oops! I ordered again
Hit me eBay one more time
Sittin' on the dock of e-Bay
Take another little piece of my cart now baby
Hello? Is it free shipping you're looking for?
Owner of a lonely cart
Money for nothing and they ship for free
Living da Visa loca
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