Hollywood agent reveals 'worst decision' she ever made

One woman's story of the worst mistake she ever made at work will make you feel better about your work day. Photo / Getty Images

A former Hollywood talent agent has recounted a day from hell she had while working for a top boutique agency.

Quinn Cummings, now an author, reveals in a Twitter thread the "worst decision I ever made in an office".

"Whatever you do in your office today, this week, the rest of this year, you can console yourself by recalling this tale," she begins.

Cummings says she once worked as an assistant for a casting agent named Susan Smith, who, while known for her excellent taste in clients, was reportedly "insane".

"Volatile, capable off toggling between rage-screaming and whispered tears in 90 seconds," says Cummings.

I'm sure you're thinking, "Quinn, it's the entertainment industry, they are all insane." Yes, many are. So consider this; if you told someone you worked for Susan, people who worked for insane people would look and you and whisper, "I hear she's insane."

— Quinn Cummings (@quinncy) November 7, 2018

She went through assistants with comical speed. One young man - who had endured the rigors of law school - went to "move his car" after ninety minutes on her desk and never came back.

— Quinn Cummings (@quinncy) November 7, 2018

I was her assistant for six months. If I hear a phone that sounds like the one we had in the office, I still get nauseated.

— Quinn Cummings (@quinncy) November 7, 2018

Smith reportedly discovered respected actors Kathy Bates and Brian Dennehy, and when the latter wished to perform the play Death of a Salesman in Chicago, Smith made it happen with "superhuman strength and negotiating prowess".

When Dennehy received career-best reviews and a Tony Award, Cummings says the office was relieved, as it may soothe Smith's temper.

Susan was ecstatic. But the real joy came when Brian won the Tony for his performance. I watched it at home and I was 99% thrilled for Brian and 1% thrilled for us at the office. Susan had a tendency to walk in the door screaming instructions and grievances.

— Quinn Cummings (@quinncy) November 7, 2018

I was now an agent, not her assistant, but Susan didn't hold with such distinctions. We all got screamed at, we all became miserable, we all started whatever self-soothing behavior allowed us to not cry in the hallway. At the very least, Brian's win would delight her.

— Quinn Cummings (@quinncy) November 7, 2018

But it was not to be: "Brian forgot to thank her," Cummings says.

Cummings, now promoted from her assistant to an agent, says work was a scene of "despair".

Then, her new assistant propositioned a solution that Dennehy had offered: taking out a full-page ad in Variety and Hollywood Reporter.

He would put a full-page ad in both VARIETY and HOLLYWOOD REPORTER, the daily trade papers read by everyone, thanking her. It was to be a surprise. The only thing Brian had needed from the Chet was a picture of her to put in the ad. Problem was, Chet couldn't find one.

— Quinn Cummings (@quinncy) November 7, 2018

All they needed was a photo of Smith. Cummings says she thought she had a solution: A picture she kept on her side-table in her office.

The next day, we all waited breathlessly for her to walk in the back door from the parking lot, down the long hallways, past each of our offices. For once, she wouldn't be screaming. I wondered if she would hug me. I decided it was a small price to pay.

— Quinn Cummings (@quinncy) November 7, 2018

The next day, Cummings thought she might have won over, until Smith arrived at work with some horrible news.

I swear to you, even the phones stopped ringing for a second.

— Quinn Cummings (@quinncy) November 7, 2018

"Who the fuck," she screamed, "Gave Brian a picture OF MY MOTHER."

— Quinn Cummings (@quinncy) November 7, 2018