Desperate Housewife

"Our neighbours have been feeding birds for the past two years which appears to have attracted the entire pigeon population from throughout the Southern Hemisphere, most of which have decided to set up home in a 20-metre palm tree on our property," writes a reader.

"The pigeons poo is all over our house, our deck, our paving, our garden, our clothesline, and our pool is continually so contaminated it can never be used. Such are their relentless and accurate excretions they can even get you walking to the front door or driving out of the garage. We can no longer maintain our garden as this results in sickness and eye infections from the widespread and non-stop pigeon droppings.

"The neighbours have stopped feeding the birds after viewing our pigeon poo-caked property, but alas we are still left with a massive pigeon population comfortably living in our tree, doing their thing! At 63 years old I am not able to scale said 20 metre palm to lay bait, Auckland Council can't offer any helpful remedy, pest control companies are great on fleas to rodents not pigeons, we cannot afford the MASSIVE expense of removing the huge palm tree, and we are desperate to know how we can get rid of these pooing pigeons permanently. Does anyone have any helpful suggestions?"

Parking shock

"AT has engaged in improving parking for inner city suburbs," writes Andrew of Parnell. "They came up with a plan and presented it to the locals asking for submissions — done deal everybody said. In my area we were all generally supportive of the concept but not the application as the improvements for my area are now I have to pay up to $5 per hour to park outside my front door i.e. no resident parking scheme at all. Consultation resulted in removal of paid Saturday parking — thank you AT. Lucky I have a car park in the CBD, so I now have to drive into the city instead of being able to commute/walk — I thought that was what AT want to avoid?"

Mum giving baby a bath. Dad giving baby a bath. Photo / Supplied
Mum giving baby a bath. Dad giving baby a bath. Photo / Supplied

Strange names


I worked with a lady named Tracy Ireland — and tried to talk her into having the theme music from Thunderbirds as her mobile ringtone.


Once dealt with a car dealer Victor Hillman as in 70s cars Vauxhall Victor and Hillman Hunter.


I've taught a boy called Dear John, a girl called Amyrikal (a miracle); a boy called Iroam (Maori spelt backwards); and I've had a Holden, Chevy and Ford in the same class.


There is a midwife in our local area called Claire Eyes.