Can I just say that I don't watch The Bachelor. I may be one of the few who doesn't, it seems. But I don't. I'm usually busy at that time of night and it's just not my kind of thing, really.
But, plenty of people do. It rates well. On The Herald website, when I last checked, four out of the five most read stories were about The Bachelor.
And that's because the news broke (if it indeed qualifies as news) that no sooner had Fleur been declared the winner of The Bachelor. She was promptly dumped. Can you believe it? I've had boozy lunches with the girls that have lasted longer than that relationship.
I feel sorry - sort of - for Fleur. It's lousy to be dumped and publicly dumped and so I feel for her on that front.
But on the other hand, I will never know what would compel a young woman to go on TV to compete with 22 other women to win a man's heart in a staged, artificial environment while half the country watches on.
Why would you want to stand in a line waiting for a man to call your name and give you a rose to signify that you're through to the next round. I mean, why would you do that? Haven't you got better things to do? Like putting pins in their eyes?
And The Bachelor gets to kiss all of these women while they're filming... bleurk... and they have overnight dates so lord knows what goes on there.
Eek. Why would you? I just don't understand it. And here's another issue. Why haven't we had a Batchelorette in this country?
Is it because 20-odd women vying for the attention of a man makes for better TV? It'll get bitchy, there'll be cat-fights. You can pretty much guarantee there will be tears.
Imagine, in a Batchelorette show, if you had 20-odd men vying for the attention of a woman? Can you imagine the pre-date interviews? "Oh yep, she's quite hot. I hope date night doesn't clash with The Crusaders...."
On the upside, there'd be no fights in the mansion. The blokes would have a field day. Someone would be getting the beers in, the barbie would be fired up each night, Sky Sport would be on 24-7. Bit of backyard touch-rugby. They'd all be the best of mates.
I think I've answered my own question really. A Bachelorette doesn't quite offer the same level of drama, does it?
But at the heart of The Bachelor is this borish theme that every woman is desperate for a man - and will compromise herself, and fight off all others to get him.
And so Fleur, perhaps this is a lesson for you. You might have to suck this one up, princess. Put The Bachelor behind you, get on with life, and remember this. It's called your 'private life' for a reason. That's because it's private.
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