NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Entertainment

James Weir: The dirtiest scandals of the year

By James Weir
news.com.au·
27 Dec, 2020 01:01 AM4 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Facebook recently removed Pete Evan's page after continuously posting misinformation. Photo / Facebook

Facebook recently removed Pete Evan's page after continuously posting misinformation. Photo / Facebook

When it comes to 2020, the humble toilet is rich with symbolism.

Yes, symbolism – we're getting literary, so whack on your monocle and keep up.

The Great Gatsby has the green light. This column has the toilet.

We can now say with absolute certainty the entire year went down the toilet.

And all the best scandals also involved a toilet.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Married At First Sight once again proved we're in the golden age of television when a man scrubbed the toilet with his wife's toothbrush after she allegedly cheated on him.

Who knew toilet paper would be this years 'must have' item. Photo / Getty Images
Who knew toilet paper would be this years 'must have' item. Photo / Getty Images

What happened to just changing the locks on the front door and throwing the cheater's clothes out the window onto the driveway as the neighbours peak out through the venetian blinds?

Anyway, the toilet toothbrush gripped the world. It doesn't take much to get people's attention.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

The closest any of us regular folk came to that kind of humiliation this year was when we all started getting filmed by television crews while buying toilet paper during the Great Shortage of 2020. We all had to talk about the stuff more than anyone would prefer.

And I can say with confidence that I would literally rather anything else happen to me as long as it meant I was never filmed buying toilet paper.

All of these incidents send a clear message. We, the media, like to give the people what they want – and the people want toilet scandals! From now on, as a nation, we are only interested in scandals that involve a toilet. The toilet doesn't necessarily need to be the star of the show, but it must feature prominently.

Dave Cannon chaos during filming last year when he carried out the disturbing act.
Dave Cannon chaos during filming last year when he carried out the disturbing act.

Outside of the bathroom, there were plenty more scandals but they were run-of-the-mill stuff.

Disgraced chef and amateur medical professional Pete Evans got cancelled and slapped with a $25,000 fine for spruiking a $15,000 magic lamp he reckons can save people from the coronavirus.

These days, that's all in a day for Pete. To quote every husband from the 1950s: Shut up and get back in the kitchen.

Ellen being a big meanie made her the surprise villain of 2020. And this is actually a good thing. The world needs a new Simon Cowell and Gordon Ramsay.

She shouldn't take it personally because we all turned on Meghan and Harry too after they ditched the palace and moved to Hollywood.

Then Prince Andrew came along and really destroyed everything.

After him and the Sussexes, the only person breathing a sigh of relief is Fergie. She's just glad she's no longer the family screw-up.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

And we're glad someone got something good out of this year.

MVPs of the year

The year's winding down which means it's time for our annual Most Valuable Players Of The Year list.

The honour is just like Time magazine's Person Of The Year, but more bogan.

Who will make the cut?

The shop assistant who made the Hemsworths finally wear shoes certainly deserves to be acknowledged. We waged a year-long campaign in this column to get the famous family into footwear after they were papped running around all over Byron barefoot for far too long. They've got Thor money, so there's no excuse – at least duck down to the servo and get a pair of rubber pluggers.

But, midway through the year, they were finally spotted wearing shoes and we can only conclude it was the handiwork of a pushy shop assistant. MVP right there.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Who else? The Angry Ranga from The Bachelor? Karen From Brighton?

The complete list will be revealed on Tuesday on the Not Here To Make Friends podcast. Download wherever you get your poddies from.

Save

    Share this article

Latest from Entertainment

Entertainment

Riccarton High: The centre of a changing Christchurch

03 Jul 07:29 AM
Entertainment

Watch: Smokefreerockquest and Showquest's finals around the motu

03 Jul 06:00 AM
Entertainment

The Kiwi still teaching Aussies to wave after 30 years

03 Jul 05:31 AM

Sponsored: Get your kids involved in your reno

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Entertainment

Riccarton High: The centre of a changing Christchurch

Riccarton High: The centre of a changing Christchurch

03 Jul 07:29 AM

Frank: Stories from the South, episode 8 – High on Culture.

Watch: Smokefreerockquest and Showquest's finals around the motu

Watch: Smokefreerockquest and Showquest's finals around the motu

03 Jul 06:00 AM
The Kiwi still teaching Aussies to wave after 30 years

The Kiwi still teaching Aussies to wave after 30 years

03 Jul 05:31 AM
Coronation Street star living life to the fullest after beating cancer

Coronation Street star living life to the fullest after beating cancer

02 Jul 09:23 PM
Sponsored: Why heat pumps make winter cheaper
sponsored

Sponsored: Why heat pumps make winter cheaper

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP