Sam Fisher: News anchors gone wild - stories that really sell

Shane Cortese. Photo / Norrie Montgomery

Opinion

MEMO

23 July 2010

To: New Zealand on Air funding committee

From: GR8 TV Limited

Dear Team

These are our preliminary pitch ideas for shows for production late this year. We haven't got scripts yet and we haven't got writers who have experience writing scripts, so we plan to use students. There's only one big story in magazines and newspapers lately so we think it might have merit.

1. Working title: Royal Wedding - Lord Mike and Princess Kate

Genre and format: Real-life drama crossed with reality TV, 10 episodes.

Everyone loves a royal wedding; the excitement, the gossip, the air of expectation.

We'll cover it all in excruciating detail - the venue, the bridesmaids, the guest list, the garter, the ring. The heir to New Zealand's broadcasting dynasty marries a stylish rogue with impressive sideburns. Michael Galvin and Siobhan Marshall to play the royal couple. Bad guy Ralston by Shane Cortese.

First show kicks off in Michael Hill Jewellers (note product placement potential) with Lord Mike choosing a diamond ring equivalent to Fiji's GDP. Its paltry value causes the tension and is the plot line for the first episode. The ring is traded up for a bigger ring valued at slightly less than Mark Hotchin's mansion.

2. Working title: Hell's Newsroom

Genre and format: Reality Show, 20 episodes.

Ambitious young journalists, with pert noses and good teeth, compete to be TVNZ 6pm news anchors. Preliminary rounds have them doing promos, Breakfast, game shows, news alerts, Breakfast, late-night news, Breakfast again.

Filmed with the dignity and respect of Big Brother. Romantic sparks will fly, we hope, then we will hound the participants, follow them home and camp outside their houses.

3. Working title: Hours of Our Lives

Genre and format: Soap, 136 episodes.

Staunch bad-boy news anchor with great sideburns, played by Shane Cortese, meets gorgeous nice girl and daughter of iconic anchor, played by Antonia Prebble.

They fall in love and create yet another happy blended family. Network bosses, Michael Galvin and Robyn Malcolm, unable to realise their love because they are long-lost half siblings, split the pair up and keep shuffling their shows around.

4. Working title: Anchorpeople

Genre and format: Comedy, six episodes.

Two happy-go-lucky, klutzy TV anchors (Shane Cortese and Siobhan Marshall) fall in love and secretly decide to marry.

They are caught on camera having romantic moments, he loses the diamond ring during a panel show and tries to retrieve it under the desk, they end up becoming the news and reporting themselves.

5. Working title: NZTV Auckland

Genre and format: Action/thriller, 12 episodes.

The ugly world of TV news in Auckland. Two gritty, professional, hard-bitten TV anchors (Michael Galvin and Antonia Prebble) work hard to get their news shows on air, despite a lack of funding.

They are secretly in love but are under constant surveillance.

Watch them report the hard stories, break the news, organise a wedding against all odds.

6. Working title: Fair Go

Genre and format: Drama, midnight slot, 1 episode.

Two ordinary but talented broadcasters, (Antonia Prebble and Siobhan Marshall), fall in love, turning their lives upside down, creating a lot of pain and turning them into the news.

After being mucked around for nearly 10 years by the network, they rebuild their lives and careers and get married.