Joanna Hunkin: Bogged down by the details

I'll be honest, if you love the following three shows, it's probably best you don't read on. I am, potentially, about to ruin them for you forever. It all depends on your threshold for pedantry.

As you will soon realise, I am somewhat obsessed with minutiae. So much so, I can no longer look past the small anomalies of my favourite television programmes. They are all I see, all I can focus on. I need help.

The programmes in question are all excellent - the only appointment viewing I make: Outrageous Fortune, Skins and ... (blushes furiously) Home & Away. I can't help it. I love the over-the-top Ockerness of Summer Bay. It's an illness.

But lately, I haven't been following the storylines as closely. I haven't been revelling in the scintillating scandal of all the make-ups, break-ups and murders. All I can look at are the accessories. The maddening, nonsensical accessories.

Home & Away is set in a small Australian beach town that doesn't have so much as a K-Mart. Any and all shopping expeditions are undertaken in the neighbouring Yabbie Creek - little more than a main street with some antiquated jewellery shops and a bank.

So why, pray tell, are all the female characters parading around with designer handbags? Nicole - a 16-year-old who dresses solely in Supre numbers - has a black and white Chanel tote. Leah, a solo mother, has a Marc Jacobs. Irene has a Dolce & Gabbana, while Charlie - the local copper - has a Louis Vuitton.

All would be worth thousands, if they were real. And while there is the small possibility of paid product placement, I can't imagine Chanel is really targetting the Australian teenage demographic watching Home & Away.

Rather, I'm convinced the wardrobe department went on a cheeky buying trip to the Hong Kong markets and didn't think anyone would notice. But I have. And it's killing me.

Likewise, I've taken similar issue with the hairstyles on Outrageous Fortune. Why is it that Kasey, Cheryl, Pascalle and Sheree all have the same ringlets - which haven't changed over the past five seasons? Okay, Cheryl and Pascalle could have the same hair - they are related. But when half the female cast sports the look, it's just weird. All I can think is that someone in hair and makeup was given a new curling iron for Christmas five years ago and was determined to get full use out of it.

But even that is not as distracting as the wardrobe on Skins, which has officially turned me into a mad woman who shouts at the telly. Skins is a British programme, set in Bristol, southwest England - a place where the average temperature is 10.5 degrees. Yet everyone is constantly running around in singlets and mini-skirts.

I realise teenagers are notorious for not feeling the cold, but this is something else. This week, Effy was seen sunbathing on a pontoon in her knickers, while Freddie - wearing a sleeveless hoodie - swam across the reserve to reach her. Even in mid-summer, that water would barely be above freezing.

I know I should get over it and I'm trying. But it just seems so sloppy.

The writers have gone to effort of crafting clever storylines, the actors have transformed themselves into their characters, the crew have built sets, carefully positioning everything exactly in place to maintain continuity.

And then someone comes along and makes a mockery of it all, for the want of a smegging jumper.