Celebrities. They're just like us.
Yes, they might have piles of cash and an entourage of people catering to their every whim, but that doesn't mean they're above a petty squabble like us ordinary folk. In fact, quite the opposite.
Feuds, both old and new, have been stoked this past year, with some showing little hope of resolution. It looks like these very rich, very famous mean girls (and boys) are in need of mediation to settle their differences. So let's help them, shall we? Herewith are some completely non-binding and arbitrary rulings.
Taylor Swift vs Katy Perry
This delicious little rivalry has been simmering for some time now. And it has nothing to do with the fact they both used to date John Mayer. (I imagine they'd both rather forget that ever happened.)
No, this feud reportedly escalated over back-up dancers. So the story goes, three of the back-up dancers on Swift's tour jumped ship to join Perry's tour. So Swift did what she does best. She wrote a revenge song.
Oh, Katy. You in danger, girl.
Although she hasn't confirmed who inspired her hit song, Bad Blood, Swift says it is about another female singer.
"She did something so horrible," Swift told Rolling Stone magazine. "I was like, 'Oh, we're just straight-up enemies.' And it wasn't even about a guy! It had to do with business. She basically tried to sabotage an entire arena tour. She tried to hire a bunch of people out from under me."
After the interview was published, Perry took to Twitter to say: "Watch out for Regina George in sheep's clothing." (Regina, of course, is the ultimate fictitious mean girl.) Rumours abound that Perry is planning a revenge song of her own, so watch this space.
Mediation rules in favour of... Taylor Swift. (Because did you see what she did to Apple recently? I don't want to be in her Burn Book.) Give T-Swift her dancers back, Katy!
Iggy Azalea vs Britney Spears
Swift and Perry aren't the only singers feuding of late.
Although she denies it, rapper Iggy Azalea appears to be doing her best to get on the wrong side of her Pretty Girls collaborator, one Britney Spears.
While commenting on their track's lacklustre chart movement, Azalea tweeted, "It's difficult to send a song up the charts without additional promo and TV performances," in an apparent dig at Spears and her team for not promoting the song.
She defended that remark with a rather crude reference about not having to suck up to Spears in order to be her friend.
As for Spears' response? Well, I want to shake the hand of whoever is looking after the pop star's Twitter account, because they produced a masterclass in how to deliver subtle shade via social media.
"Can't wait to get back to Vegas. So thankful I have shows for the rest of the year to look forward to... #YouWantAPieceOfMe,"proclaimed Spears on Twitter.
Given Iggy Azalea recently cancelled her own tour, that must hurt just a little.
Mediation rules in favour of... Britney Spears. Because Iggy Azalea is a serial offender when it comes to Twitter feuds.
Gwyneth Paltrow vs Martha Stewart
Don't be fooled by Martha Stewart's domestic goddess façade - she's been known to have less-than-kind things to say about others hoping to emulate her lifestyle publishing success.
The prickliest of those remarks was aimed at Gwyneth Paltrow and her business, Goop. (Easy pickings when Paltrow's website promotes items such as a $12,000 "one-of-a-kind hand faceted vase".)
Talking to Porter magazine late last year, Stewart said Paltrow "just needs to be quiet".
"She's a movie star. If she were confident in her acting, she wouldn't be trying to be Martha Stewart."
Upon reading those remarks, Paltrow responded in her usual annoyingly upbeat way, saying she was "psyched" Stewart saw her as competition.
The two have since traded barbs via baked goods, as only two lifestyle mavens can. Stewart took a jibe at Paltrow's eye-rolling divorce terminology with some "consciously coupled" pie recipes, while Paltrow shared a recipe for an elaborate 'Jailbird Cake', an apparent dig at Stewart's time in prison for her insider trading conviction.
Mediation rules in favour of... Martha Stewart. Because her pies looked tastier than the Jailbird Cake. (All good feuds should be fought with baking.)
Sir Elton John vs Dolce & Gabbana
When Italian designers Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana made comments about same-sex families and babies conceived via IVF, they drew the ire of many, most notably Sir Elton John.
"You are born to a mother and a father. Or at least that's how it should be," Dolce said in an interview with Panorama magazine. "I call children of chemistry, synthetic children. Rented wombs, semen chosen from a catalogue."
Sir Elton, himself a father of two boys with husband David Furnish, led calls to boycott the fashion brand in the wake of the comments.
"How dare you refer to my beautiful children as 'synthetic'. And shame on you for wagging your judgmental little fingers at IVF - a miracle that has allowed legions of loving people, both straight and gay, to fulfill their dream of having children," he wrote on Instagram.
"Your archaic thinking is out of step with the times, just like your fashions. I shall never wear Dolce and Gabbana ever again. #BoycottDolceGabbana."
The designers initially responded by very originally calling for a boycott of Elton John, before releasing statements that said: "We talked about our way of seeing reality, but it was never our intention to judge other people's choices. We do believe in freedom and love."
Mediation rules in favour of... Sir Elton John. Because, duh.
LeAnn Rimes vs Brandi Glanville
I can't remember a time before singer LeAnn Rimes and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Brandi Glanville started feuding.
Of course, Glanville has just cause for her beef with Rimes, given that her marriage to Eddie Cibrian ended over an affair he had with the singer on the set of Northern Lights.
But both women have taken the feud to new lows, almost exclusively on the public platform that is Twitter.
"Highlights" include: Glanville slamming Rimes' songs, Rimes implying Glanville only speaks out in order to forge a career for herself, allegations of an eating disorder, some very unsavoury bickering over the two sons Glanville and Cibrian have together, and Glanville punching a cardboard likeness of Rimes.
Last time I checked, they were still keeping things just as classy.
Mediation rules in favour of... Neither. Go home, LeAnn and Brandi. And cancel your Twitter accounts.