Bruce Willis in Die Hard, arguably the best Christmas movie of all time.
Reviewers Zanna Gillespie and Greg Bruce select the greatest Christmas movies of all time.
HE SAW
Rotten Tomatoes inexplicably describes it as “a minor classic”, but let’s call it what it is: A genuine Christmas miracle which works well as adult satire, broad comedy, a cult kids’ movie, kid-friendly horror, and the most underappreciated Christmas movie of all time. It’s been due a revival for three decades. With its perfect blend of cuteness, chaos and humour, it was a great film in 1984 and it’s a great film now, although the depiction of the Chinese shopkeeper is obviously racist.
Bill Murray has basically been cancelled in recent years after having his actions called out by more than one female former co-star, thus re-igniting the old debate about whether it’s possible to separate the artist from his misdeeds. If the answer is yes, there’s no doubt this weird little mash-up earns its spot on this list. A sometimes confusing blend of music, comedy, poignancy and stupidity papier-mache’d around a very rough narrative through line, it is the epitome of the sort of DIY-ish, experimental, anything-is-possible entertainment Netflix sometimes came out with in 2015, and – thanks to a combination of impenetrable algorithms and the empty-headed creative conservatism at the heart of Hollywood – probably never will again.
This is a movie so powerfully beloved and hated, so divisive and problematic, it sometimes seems the internet was invented so people could argue over it. Its overwhelming whiteness and hetero-normativity were bad even by the standards of the time, and its portrayal of women is utterly regressive, but its encapsulation of the power of love is unmatched, and not just among Christmas movies. Has there been a more powerful moment in movie history than when Colin Firth and Lucia Moniz, each speaking in a language the other can’t understand, have the following exchange:
“It’s my favourite time of day, driving you.”
“It’s the saddest part of my day, leaving you.”
The only one that comes close is the one they have later, after she accepts in English the marriage proposal he delivers in Portuguese.
“You learned English?” he says.
“Just in cases,” she replies.
I am dead. You are dead. We all are dead.
It’s hard to say what movies will endure and become “classics” because quality so seldom comes into it, especially with regard to Christmas movies, which depend so heavily on collective nostalgia, which depends on the right people watching and then discussing the film in the right way in the right places at the right time. But the just-released Candy Cane Lane deserves to be the first Christmas classic of the streaming era. Its innovative premise, quality gags, complex family dynamics, unabashedly on-the-nose message and quirky characters combine to put it streets ahead of the Christmas schlock that has poured from the streaming factories over recent years.
This is not so much an argument for the quality of the movie, which is objectively bad, but an argument against the bores and pedants who relentlessly argue it’s not a Christmas movie. For starters, it’s set at Christmas, includes plenty of Christmas music and features a Christmas party. But even without all of that, it would still qualify because nothing says “Christmas” better than a pointless and unresolvable argument on a subject about which no one cares. You’re going to be sucked into a debate about this movie at some stage this year. Might as well come armed.
SHE SAW
You’re unlikely to find this film on anyone else’s list of their top five Christmas films, mostly because it’s a 1985 children’s film that explores the reality of pre-Christmas stress, poverty and unemployment in a way most people would consider too much for kids now. Plus, there’s a Christmas angel, Gideon, whose trenchcoat and weird loitering resembles well-established paedophile tropes. But, it was my favourite Christmas movie as a child, partly because of what I deemed a very realistic depiction of Santa’s workshop and partly because it has a preposterous happy ending that made my little heart explode. The father of the two young children at the centre of the story is brought back to life after being fatally shot in a bank robbery. A Christmas miracle for the ages.
Despite the slightly cringey age-differential between its stars Will Ferrell and Zooey Deschanel, Elf remains my favourite Christmas film of all time. Ferrell is at the peak of his comedic powers as Buddy, a human who was raised to think he was an elf after accidentally stowing away in Santa’s sack as an infant. His joyful cluelessness about the human world is so infectious, it’s not just Deschanel’s Jovie who succumbs to it: we all do; even his curmudgeonly old man played by James Caan. It’s celebrating its 20th birthday this Christmas, which makes me feel very old indeed.
There’s nothing more iconic than New York City at Christmastime - snow-covered sidewalks, ice skating at the Rockefeller Centre, the Macy’s shop windows - and this film is where that all started. The 1947 classic features one of the first depictions of a successful professional single mother, as well as a non-believing little girl who discovers the magic of Christmas, a cultural critique of the commercialisation of the holiday season and a Santa with cheeks so rosy you can see them glowing right there in black-and-white. His authenticity might come under scrutiny before the courts in this film, but you’ll have a very hard time convincing me Edmund Gwenn, who plays Kris Kringle, isn’t the real Santa. The 1994 remake is adequate if your children can’t tolerate black-and-white movies.
This one’s for the modern musical fans. Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey was released by Netflix in 2020 but flew under the radar in our house (and probably yours too) until now. It’s the story of a brilliant inventor whose apprentice steals his most prized creation, derailing his life. Many years later, his curious granddaughter discovers his invention and a magical adventure ensues. It’s in the vein of The Greatest Showman: charming costumes, enchanting sets - the inventor’s workshop is particularly alluring - and irresistibly rousing song and dance numbers. Spot Forest Whittaker, Keegan Michael Key, Phylicia Rashad and Ricky Martin among the talented cast.
This is the second film on the list that features the brilliant Mary Steenburgen (One Magic Christmas) and, criminally, the first rom-com. A Christmas rom-com is essential viewing in December - quality is not a requirement, though this film is genuinely good. It stars Kristen Stewart as Ally, who goes home to meet her girlfriend Harper’s parents for Christmas only to discover that Harper is still not out to her parents and she has to pretend to be her orphaned flatmate for five days. It hits all the feel-good rom-com beats and has genuinely funny performances from its cast, which also includes Aubrey Plaza, Dan Levy, Michelle Buteau and Alison Brie.
'I forbade my mother from seeing it. There's a lot of sex talk in the show.'