The game could be anyone's - this time, it's the mad king's. Photo / TVNZ
The game could be anyone's - this time, it's the mad king's. Photo / TVNZ
REVIEW
With yesterday’s toppling of the mighty Wairangi Koopu by the hand of Millen Baird and the brain of James Rolleston, the game has suddenly opened up to become anyone’s.
The Top Six of Bubbah, Millen Baird, Christian Cullen, JP Foliaki, Dunkedon Garner and James Rolleston all nowfancy their chances. They can all smell victory.
The top six smell victory ... or is it something else? Photo / TVNZ
But before victory, they must stick their nose in a tube and take a big whiff of a mystery smell. This is today’s Charity Challenge. The winner is the person who correctly identifies the final smell. JP Foliaki sniffs out the win when he identifies expired milk.
Heading to the Face-Off challenge, the mood is light.
“It feels different knowing I’ve got a chance to win something without Wai here,” Cullen says.
The mood darkens when they see the challenge. It is a towering staircase that is missing its steps, which are piled up on the ground. They must run up and down the stairs slotting each step into its correct place. The first to complete it wins.
Cullen won the individual Face-Off. Photo / TVNZ
Cullen takes an early lead, but is closely followed by Dunkedon Garner and JP Foliaki. The others find it an uphill battle, with Bubbah, Baird and Rolleston trailing hopelessly. Eventually, they figure out the slotting technique and attempt a comeback, but it is far too late for them as the Paekākāriki Express powers to the finish line.
“Cully wins the individual Face-Off!” co-host Lance Savali shouts as Cullen slots his final step. “Huge effort!”
Back at Kōura, shennigans are afoot. Two of Baird’s advantage stones have gone missing from his bag. But before he can investigate, Cullen beckons him to the bush for a secret meeting.
The secret scroll he’s won has revealed that there will be a second challenge today, with the winner of that picking two players to go into elimination tomorrow. The scroll also gives Cullen the power to sit someone out of the upcoming challenge.
“So that will be you?” Baird asks.
“No, because we want to be both in there so we win it,” Cullen explains. “[Picking] the pair tomorrow is crucial.”
Baird is completely bewildered, asking his ally, “How come you gave it to Bubbah?”
The answer to that is a whole rigmarole but the TLDR version is that Baird wants his stone back. There’s only one problem. Bubbah doesn’t want to give it back.
Bubbah doesn’t want to give Baird his stone back. Photo / TVNZ
“I will give it back, but I will give it back angrily,” she says when the pair confront her. She stomps off to retrieve it, calling out as she leaves, “And I’m not going to talk to you two for 10 minutes!”
Aside from Cullen and Baird, the rest of Kōura are shocked to see Tomasel instead of Savali, waiting for them at what is supposed to be Elimination. Tomasel explains that it is instead The Pair’s Decider.
To win, they must go down a slide and grab a sack of suspended numbered tiles. When they have all three sacks, they must then run to their table, empty their sacks and place the tiles in numerical order from 1 to 100. The first to do so wins the challenge and the power to choose the pair for tomorrow’s Elimination. Cullen sits Rolleston out, making the actor vulnerable tomorrow.
The rest of Kōura are shocked to see Tomasel instead of Savali. Photo / TVNZ
The challenge starts fairly chaotically as the celebs tussle and bustle on their slides as they grab at their sacks. Baird unintentionally sack-taps Dunkedon Garner with his head, causing one of the broadcaster’s sacks to drop.
“Someone grabbed my sack!” he exclaims happily when he sees it waiting at the bottom of the slide. It gives him an early advantage.
But it soon disappears. The slide is no challenge and all five celebs are soon puzzling over their tiles. Baird, a former accountant, is a natural whiz and has quickly filled half his board. Cullen isn’t far behind either. But Dunkedon Garner has a strategy. He doesn’t explain it very well so lord knows what it is, but it appears to be working. He surges into the lead.
“Trust the process,” he says calmly. “Have faith in my process.”
Faith or not, Cullen sidesteps him to take the lead. But with only a couple of tiles to go, he runs headfirst into a wall.
“I think I’m missing one tile!” he exclaims, unaware it’s fallen by his feet.
“Duncan looks like he only has one to place!” Tomasel shouts, caught up in the excitement.
“I’ve got two of them,” Dunkedon Garner admits, waving two tiles at her.
“One goes one place, one goes the other Duncan,” Tomasel shouts back, mathematically dunking on him.
“Yep!” he shouts back. Then his arms shoot into the air like a champion. “I’ve got it!”
Tomasel runs over to check. She checks. She shouts, “Duncan wins this Pair’s Decider!”
Then she dunks on him again, adding, “You wouldn’t read about it!”
Duncan's quick to be lording it over his rivals. Photo / TVNZ
But he does not hear her dunks. He is ecstatic. It is his first win in the competition. He is now the most powerful person on the island. He is quick to be lording it over his rivals.
Back at camp, he summons them individually for an audience where he grills them on their plans and strategies, and endeavours to find the person who will give him a shoulder massage.
He demands the knee. He proves that absolute power corrupts absolutely.
“Now our destiny is in the hands of the mad king,” Baird observes as darkness descends on Camp Kōura and they all begin to dance to Dunkedon Garner’s tune.
Celebrity Treasure Island airs Mondays to Wednesdays at 7.30pm on TVNZ 2 and is available on TVNZ+.
Karl Puschmann is an entertainment columnist for the Herald. His fascination lies in finding out what drives and inspires creative people.
