Sinead and Anna can't stop thinking about Marc getting his bits out on The Bachelorette.
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SPOILER ALERT: If you've not seen tonight's episode of The Bachelorette NZ and want to do so without knowing anything of the foibles of the blokes vying for the affections of Bachelorettes Lesina Nakhid-Schuster and Lily McManus, do not even think about reading on.
Hey, can we stealyou for a second? Because The Bachelorette NZ was back on our screens tonight. SINEAD CORCORAN recaps the action.
Tonight's eppy kicked off with a scene so wholesome it warmed the cockles of my millennial heart, and is one that I too recreate most Sunday mornings.
The classic post-night-out debrief with the flatties. Photo / Supplied
Just like us single and hungover twenty-somethings everywhere, all the lads clambered into one flatmate's bed for a dusty cuddle and a debrief about the hookups from the night before - except awkwardly, they hadn't all pashed different randos from Longroom - they're all pashing the same two girls so things are understandably getting tense.
And what better way to diffuse that tension than by forcing the boys into a live drawing class where they'll have no choice but to stare at another naked woman while the two women they're trying to woo stare at them to see how much they're staring at this third naked gal.
Tavita and Liam won the challenge as they both managed to draw human-ish shapes and also avoided having nudity-induced nervous breakdowns (Jesse was not so lucky, he laughed like a manic hyena throughout the entire lesson).
Paint me like one of your one-armed, headless gals. Photo / Supplied
Despite losing points for CLAPPING FOR HIS OWN DRAWING Liam scored one-on-one time with Lily as his prize. In a real plot twist, he actually managed to form comprehensible sentences for the first portion of it - saying some intelligible things about taking the drawing lesson really seriously and that it was really important to him that he made the model feel comfortable.
About 17 seconds in, however, things obviously turned into a shambles as per, shambles which were kicked off by him informing Lily that he was stoked he got what he ordered.
"Yeah so I told the show that I wanted someone Australian, tall, skinny, blonde, blue-eyed and tanned - so I got everything I asked for."
Stunning and brave. A national hero if you ask me.
Meanwhile, Lesina kicked off her one-on-one time with Tavita by asking the Big, Fundamental Questions you simply must raise with a potential life partner.
"Just checking, are you a boobs or an ass man?"
And ladies, it appears we have been doubly blessed - there is another selfless hero in our midst.
"Yeah so I'm an ass man so I put her at ease, cause she's well put together ay," replied Tavita, who I'm assuming is a shoe-in to be the next face of our banknotes.
Later on at the cocktail party poor sweet Conor well and truly sealed his fate with Lily by revealing that he is an adult man with a 15-year plan and a pet rabbit named Marshmallow.
While I'm sure both of these admissions would rock some women's absolute socks off - Lily is unfortunately not one of them and understandably scuttled off for a hot pash sesh with Quinn who appears to have no pets or plans, hot damn.
The rabbit's out of the bag so to speak - no one wants to pash an adult man who has a pet rabbit. Photo / Supplied
Meanwhile Lesina was somewhat distracted by the fact that Marc, for no rhyme or reason and as per by his own volition, had once again stripped all his clothes off and literally gotten his penis out for the rest of the gang to draw - and she giggled so hysterically and for so long that I was genuinely concerned she may combust.
This means that Aaron, who just mere moments ago revealed that he thinks he's fallen in love with Lesina, had no choice but to sketch the genitals of another man who is attempting to woo her - and understandably looked like he was on the brink of screaming.
The episode concluded with Aaron sobbing yet again that he was worried he's ruined his chances with Lesina by bitching about the other boys (remember, from the last episode?) and during the two-for-one elimination special (thank you Glenn) Connor and Flynn were both sent back to the homeland where I can only assume they will attempt to become Hello Fresh ambassadors, or at the very least sign up to whatever reality show TVNZ flogs next. God speed lads.
Conor, Gonor (from the show) but never forgotten. Photo / Supplied
Tune in to The Bachelorette NZ again on Sunday night at 7.00pm, and in the meantime subscribe to the official Bachelorette podcast, Can I Steal You For A Second – hosted by yours truly and my wing-woman Anna Henvest. Plus, follow along with us on Instagram for all our behind the scenes vids.
