Business mentor: Body language speaks volumes

Q. I ran a full staff meeting yesterday. There were 16 of us and it lasted two hours, but it felt like four. I found it difficult to get a response from my staff, to find out how they were feeling about the issues I was putting to them.

I'm sure they were telling me what I wanted to hear rather than what they really wanted to say.

Can you give me some tips on how to read them better?

A. Allan Pease, co-author of eight best-sellers, including the ground-breaking "Body Language" and "Why Men Don't Listen & Women Can't Read Maps", replies:

You raise an interesting question. You may uncover the answers by observing their body language.

Body language is defined as the outward reflection of one's emotional condition by way of gestures, mannerisms, postures and facial expressions.

In any face-to-face conversation, body language counts for 60 per cent to 80 per cent of the message.

A person's body language speaks volumes. By observing posture, hand and eye movements, you can gain information about what their minds are doing. You can get further insight on what they are thinking by listening to the qualities of their tone of voice.

The ability to work out what is really happening with a person is simple - not easy, but simple. It's about matching what you see and hear in the environment in which it all happens and drawing probable conclusions.

Overall, women are far more perceptive than men and this has given rise to what is commonly referred to as "women's intuition". Women have an innate ability to pick up and decipher non-verbal signals, as well as having an accurate eye for small details.

Ultimately, you need to follow three rules to get things right:

Rule1. Read Gestures in Clusters. One of the most serious errors a novice in body language can make is to interpret a solitary gesture in isolation. Scratching the head can mean a number of things - sweating, uncertainty, dandruff, fleas, forgetfulness or lying - depending on the other gestures that occur at the same time. Gestures come in sentences called clusters and show the truth about a person's feelings or attitudes.

A body language cluster, just like a verbal sentence, needs at least three words in it before you can accurately define each of the words. So always look at gesture clusters for a correct reading.

Rule 2. Look for Congruence. Research shows that non-verbal signals carry about five times as much impact as the verbal channel and that, when the two are incongruent, people - especially women - rely on the non-verbal message.

Rule 3. Read Gestures in Context. All gestures should be considered in the context in which they occur. If someone was sitting at a bus terminal with his arms and legs tightly crossed and chin down and it was a cold winter's day, it would most likely mean that he was cold, not defensive. If, however, the person used the same gestures while you were sitting across a table from him trying to sell him an idea, product or service, it could be correctly interpreted as meaning the person was feeling negative or rejecting your offer.

The appropriate use of hand gestures and mannerisms to influence, inspire and engage, combined with the ability to recognise and interpret these telltale traits in others, is one of the most important communication skills in today's society.

* Allan Pease is running a series of day seminars titled "Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps" in Christchurch, Auckland and Wellington, on August 24, 25 and 26, put on by The Knowledge Gym.

For more information visit The Knowledge Gym.

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