Q: I like your messages to people to reduce the silly spending on Christmas presents that are usually not right for the person.

I've had various forms of reducing presents in the past, such as secret Santa. This year I've told everyone that I'm not giving or receiving Christmas presents — I'm going to return any given unopened — except for a few I'm giving to my daughter and stepsons.

I'm going to give my partner a handwritten voucher to a meal at a restaurant of his choice (within reason). I'm also giving him a handwritten voucher for 10 back massages from me, which he loves.

I've spent ages decluttering following Marie Kondo, which has been great, and I don't want to fill up my house again with lots of stuff I don't want and can't get rid of in case it upsets the giver.

Merry (non-commercial) Christmas!

A: And to you! Brace yourself for being called a Grinch.

But your thoughtful gifts to your partner — and the exception for your daughter and stepsons — suggest you're not a mean person.

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