Stretch marks, food cravings and post-birth flab.
Bonds has launched a new ad in Australia that highlights the impact of having children on the physique.
But it's not mums who vent about expanding waistlines, sexual invisibility and being kept awake throughout the night. Instead, the blokes let it all hang out.
Sitting around in a support group-style circle, the Aussie men display their dad bods while discussing the highs and lows of parenthood.
"When we brought Tommy home, I was up every couple of hours feeding. Pizza ... cured meats ... cake," one new dad confesses.
"I see the way that my wife looks at other men who don't have kids ... It's not her fault," says another.
Another added: "I saw David Beckham, a week after childbirth and he's out running with no top on."
Sombre music plays while the men lament the way fathers' bodies are portrayed in magazines - "Who actually looks like that?" - while complaining of swollen ankles and stretch marks.
"I just want my pre-baby body back," one of the dads says.
The "dad bod" is a term that went viral last year when internet meme culture picked up on the fact that men's bodies change as they move into the parenting stage of life, just like women's.
Bonds' new ad was created by Clemenger BBDO Melbourne, the agency behind last year's "If balls could talk", which featured a conversation between a pair of testicles.
Head of marketing Emily Small said the ad was created in honour of Father's Day, to recognise the dads who "aren't perfect but do a great job".
"We think they deserve a little moment in the spotlight as well as an upgrade of their undies drawer," Small said.