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Home / Business / Personal Finance

‘I felt inhuman’: Reformed romance scammer’s confession, leaked catfish bible reveals con artist secrets

John Weekes
By John Weekes
Senior Business Reporter·NZ Herald·
23 Dec, 2022 08:11 PM5 mins to read

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A romance scammer has revealed how he impersonated a military man to con a woman into handing over huge sums of money. Photo / Getty, 123RF, Herald montage

A romance scammer has revealed how he impersonated a military man to con a woman into handing over huge sums of money. Photo / Getty, 123RF, Herald montage

At first, Chris felt fine scamming the woman into handing over money.

The Nigerian man in his 20s told the Herald he used the 61-year-old’s financial gifts to live a lavish lifestyle.

New Zealanders have lost millions to romance scammers, and the Christmas holidays are high season for catfishing.

Chris, 25, used tactics that can be deployed on people of any nationality.

“She gave me a lot of money, she gave me about US$21,000 [$33,000]. At first I felt so comfortable getting the money... because she was rich.”

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Chris was a catfish, using a fake profile of an attractive person he thought likely to trick a victim.

“I just went on Instagram. I looked for a cute picture of a good-looking military guy. I set up a fake profile. I went on Facebook.”

He then found the older Australian woman online, and made contact.

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During the scam, he never showed his real face.

“I only did voice calls. I talked to her on calls and she was able to fall for me because I seemed real to her.”

Chris said he used his skill with accents to pretend to be American. And it only took four days before the catfish got money from his target.

“She buys gift cards, she uses Bitcoin, she sent Bitcoin.”

Apart from the $33,000, the duped woman sent Chris gifts worth an additional $24,000.

But the young scammer soon learned more about his target, and increasingly felt disgusted at his own behaviour.

“She was depressed, she was sick,” Chris said from his home in Nigeria.

“I [was] beginning to feel inhuman. Would I allow someone to do this to my own mother?”

He said his conscience kicked in, and the guilt was overwhelming. Chris decided to confess and for the first time videocalled the woman.

He told her: “This is me. This is me, Chris. I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you.”

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Chris said he was prepared for a bad reaction, and the woman cried. But to his surprise, she then appreciated his confession.

He offered to work harder on legitimate income sources and pay the money back.

Instead of seeking vengeance, the woman offered to provide moral support for Chris’ new life educating other people about catfishing and romance scams.

“It’s like she adopted me.”

Chris now works with Social Catfish, a company dedicated to preventing online scams through reverse search technology.

Social Catfish said the holidays were peak season for scammers who preyed on lonely widows and singles.

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In the third quarter of this year, 65 romance scam incidents were reported to Government cybersecurity agency Cert NZ.

“The same scams work across the globe as the criminals take advantage of lonely people,” Cert NZ’s Jordan Heersping said.

“It’s a sad fact that people need to be vigilant and cautious of those who approach them on social media and dating apps,” Heersping added.

“The scammers know how to manipulate people and the losses, both financial and emotional, can be devastating.”

One cohort of catfish victims, people aged 45 to 54, have reported losses of almost $2 million since January 2021.

Scams and fraud were the second-most common type of incident reported to Cert NZ, after phishing and credential harvesting.

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Reformed scammer’s advice

“Most of them who fall into traps are lonely,” Chris added.

He said anyone interacting with a person met online should demand video calls and other forms of verification before getting romantically entangled.

But even that was not always enough to avoid getting fleeced.

“I have one piece of strict advice: Stop looking for partners on social media,” Chris said.

“Find your peace with someone you can see. Don’t fall in love with someone who lives miles away.”

Chris was now living without the loot he got from catfish scamming.

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“I used to have a lot of money. I used to live a flamboyant lifestyle.”

And although he confessed to the older woman, there was one group of people who still did not know about his secret.

“None of my family, my parents, my siblings knew I was internet scamming. African parents are strict, so strict. If I told my Dad I was into internet scams, he’s probably going to disown me.”

Leaked catfish manual

Social Catfish acquired a scammers’ bible. The 39-page manual tells aspiring scammers how to make western women “fall in love” through online chat.

It urges scammers to aim for women who will “fall in love with you ASAP without much stress” and adds: “Go for those over 40. They are working hence they have the money you need. Also, being single at 40, they are eager for love.”

The catfish author calls targets “clients” and describes the importance of research.

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“I have a list of all my clients, and beside their name, I write information about them. Things like their pet, nicknames, children, birthday, things I see on their bio or they have told me,” the guide adds.

“To message her for the first time, you want to go gentle and different. Do not send a hi... There are many people that have sent her ‘hi’ before.”

It then has a long list of pick-up lines including: “Did you get your licence suspended for driving so many guys crazy?” and: “To know me is to love me. Are you ready to get to know me?”

If a target takes the bait, the manual gives tips around how to contrive conversation and pay compliments.

It adds: “Tell her about yourself but keep it short. Tell her about your hobbies. It is best if you say a hobby that she also likes. That will keep the conversation going and make her like you more.”

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