A UK paramedic has been suspended after mocking numerous patients in online rants, including one who called for an ambulance over a paper cut.
Samuel Heenan made a string of social media posts criticising patients who made emergency calls, a disciplinary tribunal was told.
The NHS worker said one patient had called over "chest pains" after playing on a Nintendo Wii video game console and another said they "could not decide if [they] are having a seizure or eating a sandwich", the panel heard.
He also made fun of a caller who suffered from three weeks of "smelly poos".
In one post, he wrote: "Firstly: a paper cut on your neck does not count as a stab.
"Secondly: a paper cut on the neck does not justify an emergency ambulance.
"Thirdly: How do you even get a paper cut on your neck?!"
In another, he wrote: "People ask me what I have achieved at work today so I inform them that I have been enforcing traffic law, scaring people driving using their phone and writing fake speeding tickets.
"All in a day's work for an undercover paramedic."
The Health and Care Professions Tribunal Service hearing was told the paramedic found the posts "humorous" and "would raise morale" among colleagues.
Heenan began working as a paramedic in 2014. Two years later the Trust was alerted to a number of Facebook posts he had made.
The investigation found he had posted or messaged inappropriately 14 times.
In 2018 he was also investigated after a student paramedic complained about his behaviour during shifts.
The complainant told the panel he had made comments about "scroats", called a patient a "pansy" and said the job was a "pile of crap" with Heenan often having "little patience" for less serious calls.
He also called other NHS staff a "bunch of monkeys" to a child's mother.
Heenan also allegedly said to a colleague "we should leave our lights and sirens on outside the house to embarrass the patients" and called a patient a compulsive liar.
The paramedic quit before any conclusion was reached in the investigation.
The panel suspended Heenan for a year and described his behaviour as "deplorable".
The panel concluded: "The remainder of the allegation found proved is conduct that falls far short of what would have been proper in the circumstances and concluded that it amounts to misconduct.
"[Heenan] breached patient confidentiality, which encompasses the fundamental professional tenets of trust and integrity.
"In addition, his comments and conduct when working with [name redacted], particularly bearing in mind his role as her mentor, as well as his repeated Facebook posts were deeply inappropriate, disrespectful and unprofessional.
"Heenan's conduct would be considered deplorable and is conduct which the panel found amounted to misconduct."