Her husband loves to travel and regularly reminisces about their Europe honeymoon, eight years ago. Ever since the pregnancy, he has daydreamed about taking their child to Europe, she wrote, adding that he never had that experience growing up.
“With the summer coming up, my husband is insisting on planning a trip to Europe for the three of us,” she wrote.
The family had done “small road trips” of a few hours’ drive before, to see family members and visited Disney World with her in-laws last summer.
“While that was fine, it was so draining and I think my son was a bit young for it and we should’ve waited a couple more years.”
Despite her husband “begging” her to reconsider as he misses travelling and “hates that we never go anywhere”, she believes they should wait until their son is 8 or 9 as it will be less of a challenge and the child will appreciate it more.
“I reminded him that ‘going places’ is [five times] more work now than it was pre-kids,” she wrote. “He’s a very involved dad but he tends to see things like this with rose [coloured] glasses, while I’m more detail oriented and can foresee all the tiny little problems.”
The post gained much attention, and out of 568 ‘votes’, most voted that she was not wrong for putting her foot down. However, more than 620 comments hotly debated the pros and cons.
Several said she wasn’t in the wrong because the child would “barely remember it”.
“The trip is for your husband, not the kid,” one person wrote after claiming her decision was justified. They could still take holidays but make them simple.
“Going to national parks is good because you can drive to see sights and do a little walking to wear the kid out,” they wrote.
Dozens pushed back, referring to trips they took when they were young, which they remembered.
“The first and only holiday abroad we took as a family before I turned 18 was when I was 11, my brother, 9, and my sister was 6,” one person claimed, adding that the sister “still remembers it clearly” more than 20 years on.
Some said remembering wasn’t the point.
“Babies won’t remember the books we read to them in infancy, but we do it anyway, right?” they reasoned. “Travel is about the adventure, broadening their world view, encouraging flexibility, and strengthening the family bond,” they added.
Other parents sympathised with the challenge of planning a family holiday, which often falls to one parent.
“You are right in not wanting to take a trip to Europe that young. No one will get much out of it except your husband,” one person wrote.
One solution presented was to allow the father and son to travel together, giving the mum a break but she said she was “99.9% sure he will say no” as he wants to go as a family.
Advice to go away with only the husband was also rejected as the woman explained they did not have family who could look after the son for more than a few days.
If travel was challenging, another solution dozens suggested was to scale down the trip and take a simpler, domestic trip.
“I do feel like you and your husband can reach a compromise. Maybe not Europe but a closer destination and for a shorter amount of time,” one person wrote.
“Go somewhere for a week but no flight. You are exaggerating the difficulty here. Rent a house on the beach or something,” said another, who agreed that Europe was too much for a 5-year-old.
“Take the trip, set low expectations, and make the memories,” said another, who argued they could “find excuses year after year”.
Eventually, the woman said she would refuse to go to Europe but instead would offer a three-day beach trip, as her husband has also mentioned a beach holiday and their son has never visited the beach.
“That could be a new but manageable experience. Hopefully, that works,” they wrote.
