Yvonne Lorkin: Nifty uses for the dregs

Leftover red? Grab that stained white shirt and presto -- a lovely new claret blouse.

Apart from my children, my husband, and finding cold chicken in the fridge (not necessarily in that order), the internet is my favourite thing.

Coping with the daily admin of life is much more bearable when videos of dogs talking, trampoline disasters and clips of babies eating lemons for the first time are just a click away.

It's also where I stumbled upon surefire remedies for an awful affliction that some people have been suffering from.

It's a shocking disorder known as "leftover wine syndrome".

This condition is something I'm not an authority on as it never happens in my house -- but as wine is my business, I felt it necessary to address this problem and assist where I can.

So. I've conducted some in-depth research (between kitten videos and Kevin Hart comedy on YouTube) and have found a number of ways to use your leftover or spoiled wine.

Fabric dye

If you can't clean it, just stain the whole thing. That blouse would look better in an earthy shade of mauve anyway.

You can use virtually any type of red wine to dye fabric. Simply heat the wine to a simmer in a big soup pot on the stove, add your fabric, stir with a wooden spoon for 10 minutes and allow to cool. Rinse well.

Glass cleaner

Spoiled white wine works like a charm on dirty glass. Add a few tablespoons to a spray bottle of water, apply to windows and mirrors and wipe with a newspaper.

Trap fruit flies

Just pour a slug of red wine into a glass and cover it tightly with clingfilm. Then, poke some small holes in the wrap, which lets the flies in but they can't escape.

Skincare

Some women recommend using red wine as a toner, which may help smooth and refine skin thanks to the acidity, which is similar to that of vinegar.

Hollywood actresses have been known to pour a glass of red wine into their bath water.

Kitchen disinfectant

Microbiologists claim the alcohol in wine can clean and disinfect kitchen surfaces.

If you're trying it at home, use dry white wines like sauvignon blanc because they won't leave a stain or sticky residue. Warning -- don't try this on granite, because the acids could eat away at the surface.

Remove grease stains

Pour leftover white wine on to grease and oil stains on garage floors and driveways. The alcohol and acidity will help stains dissipate.

Heal bruises

An old wives' remedy recommends soaking a piece of bread in wine and then applying it to a bruise to aid faster healing. Apparently wine can help soothe inflamed tissue.

Use wine to clean wine

So you're telling a hilarious story at a party and you knock a glass of red on to the white carpet. Awkward. Grab the nearest glass of white wine, pour it over the red then soak up immediately with a towel.

Improve your health -- if you're an astronaut

Studies at the University of Strasbourg in France deduced that the reservatrol in red wine could help ward off the adverse health effects of zero gravity.

During long stints in space, astronauts can suffer loss of muscle and bone density -- which isn't pleasant.

Nice to think a glass of pinot while peering down at Earth might fix that.

SIPS OF THE WEEK

Gillman Matakana Rose 2012, $36

Crafted from cabernet franc and merlot, this is a style which the French were very fond of in the Middle Ages, says Toby Gillman. Clairet or "clear wine" was the main style produced in Bordeaux - mainly because of the way it was made; the juice was kept on the skins for just one or two days, giving it a lighter colour and softer tannins and producing good early-drinking wine in a time when it was impossible to age wine.

After the invention of the cork it became possible to cellar wines to soften them and more tannic, darker red wines became the norm. The English called them "claret", but clairet has kept its original meaning in Bordeaux. Only 288 bottles were made by Gillman, and there's an earthy, dusty, pot pourri-type nose to it. It's very dry and has a chewy, full-on finish. It's an intriguing style. gillmanvineyard.co.nz

Te Mania Nelson Pinot Gris 2014, $22

If you like your pinot gris packed with poached quince, grilled peach and all sorts of nashi-driven niceness, this is for you. It's a spicy, crisp, mineral-edged wine with mouthfilling texture and solid length of flavour. temaniawines.co.nz